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what should i do? husband and inlaw help!

my husband acts weird and annoying every time his family is around. Mostly his sisters. He criticizes me and makes fun of everything I do. Its like I'm the family joke. They literally just sit around, and i'm all they talk about. they look for anything to make fun of. They cross the line alot to the point I want to kill them all! And when they leave, he gets all lovey dovey and says he was just playing around and I'm over reacting, but really I'm not. It's only when they're around, and they're around ALOT. But I cant tell them to stop coming over. It's their brother's house, you know. What should I do, my husband just doesn't understand.

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fefe87

Asked by fefe87 at 6:15 AM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,737 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • hes totally disrespectable....and alows his family to desrepect u as well the fact that he sits there and makes fun of u with them shows the lack of love he has for u in front of his family....when they leave he then becomes lovey dovey because he knows best he knows what he's doing obviously but he wants to prove to his family that he doesn't approve of you as well like they proably don't as well....so he teams up with them like hey look i don't love her that much cause i love you my sisters more....he chooses sides and often chooses them which is very mean of him tell him if u don't stop I will not be around you or your family anymore you need to respect me in front of your family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Sounds like they all fall back into their childhood roles. It's not funny though, is it? Because you are the brunt of it and it isn't appropriate now because he is a man and you are his wife! I would have a talk with him when you aren't angry and he has time to think about what you say before the sisters join you again. I would say that I want to be comfortable in my home at the least and ideally, I would like to be part of the family now that I am your wife. I feel left out. I don't want that going on in my own space and if you don't think you can talk to your sisters about changing the way we all get along, I won't be comfortable with them here. I would ask him to talk to his sisters about it before their next visit. Be ready for a reaction and ready to let them work out their feelings. You are asking for something appropriat.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 7:57 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Con't. I just want to encourage you to be strong about asking for what you need in your own home. Regardless of how they respond, you are right to ask for it. You are right to want to be comfortable in your home and when you are with his family. They will be uncomfortable because you are bringing this dysfunction to their attention. Don't take responsibility for their feelings. Stick to your guns. In the long run, you are doing them a favor. Your marrriage needs to grow too and this is challenging hubby to step up and grow up a little. It's ok. If they are all decent people, you will see them try. Take it slow though and don't expect them to be perfect. They are unlearning their longtime behavior. Love them all through it. You are a good woman and a good wife!
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 8:01 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I personally would tell them how I feel right then and there when it happens again. I wouldn't wait til you are alone.His family knows what they are doing and it should be addressed. Ask them how they would feel if you were making fun of them. They may not realize that their actions hurt.Maybe its what they know and they also need to know it is inappropriate. Its your home,not theirs, so with respect to you, they need to quit that crap.. The next time they say something and it hurts your feelings, say Why did say say yadadada? Tell them also, not just your husband. They will respect you for it and I am sure they wouldn't allow it in their home. I know I wouldn't
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 9:48 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I'd have to say something. My inlaws don't do that, it's not normal... it's rude, disrespectful and just wrong.
    When people belittle or make fun of someone else, it's typically to make themselves feel better about themselves.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:54 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Let your husband know that if they are going to disrespect you then they are not welcome in your house and if he wants to see them then he can go visit them. If he doesn't listen then when they come over leave and go shopping. You are not obligated to stay and listen to their stupidity.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:58 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • If he puts you down, In front of others, It is a form of mental abuse,
    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 10:13 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I hate to say this to you, but OK bring it on let's be petty. Seriously!!!!! maybe you should do this. Get a note pad and jot down anything you don't like, or think is funny, ( but embarrassing to them or humilliating) and when they come over and START.... bring out your pad. And just claim,
    " I'm not as good or fast at being mean to family and you guys. You all have had more experience in doing this and well I need to look back at my notes, because it seems you guys have a good time in doing it to me, I just wanted to see if I would like it." And start with your husband regarding letting him put you in front of the target to get shot up by his rude, disrepectful, what ever they say is safer with him then their hubbys. Is he the youngest?
    chellenout

    Answer by chellenout at 10:21 AM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • your married to him so its ur house too tell ur husband if they cant give you respect then they cant be there. or else your going out everytime they come.
    my in laws are evil and i truly dislike them. and they all r not allowed to come over to our home they are also not allowed to see my son. (they are bad!!!) if u need to vent you can message me i am here to help!
    happy holidays!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:05 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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