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Arranged Marriages -- Here, Now in the USA?

Parental approval matters more to some than it does to others, and as we get older, it probably changes. When I was a teenager, I couldn't have cared less what my father thought of my boyfriends (and he mostly wasn't fond), but as I got older, it did start to matter, especially as I started to think about marriage.

My father to this day will often launch into tirades against one man I dated very seriously in college and I typically ignore him, remembering how smart he was to keep that disapproval to himself when it mattered. Because what is the quickest way to make a teenage girl looooove a boy? Tell her that her parents hate him!

Consider the recent case in Germany where a father disapproved so much of his 17-year-old daughter's relationship with a 57-year-old man that he castrated him. OK, so my dad wasn't that crazy, but there is nothing wrong with a dad (or mom) wanting the best for their child (and not wanting her to be with a creepy old man).

Some parents have unrealistic expectations, of course. If he must be the same religion, have at least a master's, earn more than $100K at 25, and be highly ambitious, then mom and dad are not leaving a lot of wiggle room. After all, people grow and change and the qualities that a man (or woman) possesses at 24 are likely not exactly the same ones he or she will possess in 10 years.

Of course wanting your daughter to be with a kind, age-appropriate man who will be faithful and be a good dad isn't really that much to ask. But do you trust your parents to make that decision?



Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 6:22 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

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This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I don't see the leap. How is wanting parental approval an arranged marriage?

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:51 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I wouldn't want my daughter to go through any arraignment for marriage.


    Answer by sexyfancyface at 6:36 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • My husband was playfully talking about this when we found out the twins were girls. He said they'll marry his best friends two sons. I asked him do you really want sons-in-law like him and he shuddered LOL end of conversation!

    Answer by BlueCollarMama at 9:45 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Im not surprised, its a part of many cultures. However it is not a part of mine, I never got serious with a man unless my mom really liked him. I trust my moms oppinion and she can see right through people right away. So when my mom met my now husband, I was happy that she finally liked a man that I liked.

    Answer by leksismommy at 6:26 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • There has to be something wrong with a person who will let their parents pick their husband these days.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:46 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I agree with lovin!

    And as far as I'm concerned, if you are old enough to legally marry, and but you feel as though you NEED your parents approval first, then I don't think you are mature enough for marriage!

    It's one thing to get "opinions" but to REQUIRE parental approval, or to ALLOW parents to choose the "correct" suitor, is where I disagree. You should know if the person you WANT to marry is the person you SHOULD be marrying!! And if you're not sure, then I think the couple should wait a while longer until they DO know for certain! :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:46 PM on Dec. 20, 2010