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2 Bumps

Don't feel like I'm connecting with my baby...

My daughter's 3 months old now and I just don't really feel any connection to her at all. I look after her and change her diapers and breast feed but I still don't feel the 'bond' that people told me I was meant to feel. It's not as if I don't love her, of course I do, just I don't feel like an unconditional crazy sort of love for her.

Am I crazy?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • I could not imagine having that feeling... sorry but maybe postpartum?  Talk to your doctor

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 6:33 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Are you stressed or too sleep deprived. Have the daddy or grandma take the baby for a day and you go out and do things for yourself or get the home to yourself. Maybe the separation will help you realize just how attached you are.
    EverydayMomma

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 6:33 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Some moms take a little more time than others. You'll get there, youre not crazy. :)
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 6:33 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • no. I was completely overwhelmed for about the first 5 months or so. That and sleep deprivation, taking care of a newborn is challenging to say the least. It will come, as soon as you see that first smile at you, it just melts your heart

    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 6:33 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • No you're not. I had a very hard time bonding with my first. Ever see the episode of Sex in the City when Miranda has her baby and she says it's like a giraffe just walked into the room? That was me for a long time! It was so bad I couldn't even bring myself to call him by his name for a long time. It was 'the baby' or ' your son' In retrospect I wish I had talked to my doctors about it. I think it was PPD. It *can* be normal but it is something you should mention to your doctor.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:35 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • if you were put in a situation where you didn't or couldn't help her you would understand more i bet. you must love her if you go to give her what she needs in the middle of the night, you don't always have to do what's expected of you, you do it bc you love her! and your bond will grow more. my cousin and i talked about how we didn't feel that emotional connection with our children until we took them home from the hospital, that we actually thought about giving them up! it's funny when i look back on it now, it was just frustration and tiredness and wanting to be the one that took care of my son, not the nurses! it's odd the idea of wanting to give something up that you work so hard for and planned for and almost died for. so i understand where you are coming from.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:35 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I had a hard time too until my DD started interacting more, like giggling when i make funny faces. I was also working 60 hours a week so until I quit my job i didnt bond with her much, just wait untill she starts screaming with delight when you see her, your heart will melt
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 6:38 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I felt the same way after having my second baby. I don't think you're weird but maybe you're going through postpartum depression? Give your doctor a call just to be sure. Good luck.
    twinmama2five

    Answer by twinmama2five at 6:38 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Yes, talk to your Doctor, sounds like PPD to me.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 6:46 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • its not abnormal. it sounds like its possible you have some post partum depression going on . even 3 months later your hormones can stil be out of whack after giving birth. maybe talking to your pediatrician about how you are feeling might help and maybe he or she might have some suggestions.
    katiPeas

    Answer by katiPeas at 7:11 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

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