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I want my Hubby Back!

I have been with my man for 7 years and married for 5. We have an awesome 4 year old that we both love dearly, but for the past few months my hubby hasn't been there for my son and I. I know in my heart he hasn't cheated and we more so turned into roommates. Well I got fed up with this and asked for a separation, and asked him to decide what is important in our life. Well it turned for the worse...we moved back into our parent's houses and we were cleaning out our apartment when he asked for a divorce...I suppose I pushed it on him because I had told him I changed my mind about the separation and he said no I really do think we need this. And I had waited about a week and asked if we could try again because I love him so much, and I asked again do you really want this because divorce is kinda final. He said "I guess so" Well he asks when he can see me again because his words were..."We have been together for 7 years and I can't stop seeing you" I know he loves me because I can see it when we are together, which he wont stop ogling me and wanting to touch me...he asks jokingly he is not sure what the rules are because he "wants" me, and doesn't want to stop touching me. One day we were cleaning the apartment and he hugged me and I could barley contain myself and got teary eyed. I told him I don't like this and its hard...He told me it keeps getting harder and harder. I am watching his cats while he is in vegas for work and I am trying to keep it together. I miss him so much and want him back, but I don't know what to do. Oh and he still tells me he loves me...
I guess I just don't know if this is him punishing me for asking for the separation or if he really wants out....I need some advice...I am so fragile and I keep breaking :(

 
CindyLou122

Asked by CindyLou122 at 9:30 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (300 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Sounds like he is wanting to explore his options even though he is in love with you.. absence make the heart grow fonder...... dont put so much effort in to trying to be around him or talk to him he will come back to you.. if all else fails prayer works
    lacyjay1987

    Answer by lacyjay1987 at 9:34 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Put these worries in GODs hands because he is in TOTAL control!!! Rememeber first the commitment you two made before GOD then, think of your family, your son...where is he in this?? The devil comes to kill steal and destroy families. GOD = LOVE!!! Let go and let GOD!
    mamameka1

    Answer by mamameka1 at 9:57 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • IMO. Stop letting him come over and touch and hug and have sex with you, if that is what you are letting him do.. Tell him we either get back together or we are no longer a couple.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:38 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Get some counseling. Ask him if he'd be willing to see a marriage counselor. This isn't good for any of you, especially not your child. I know you want him back, but the wishy-washy bullshit is just that; bullshit. Either he needs to give it a real go or let you go.
    Guinhyvar

    Answer by Guinhyvar at 9:47 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • he can still 'want you' and also want his freedom
    it is called having his cake and eating it too
    ask him if he will go to therapy with you
    but you can not give him your body, and not have him hold your heart
    does this make sense?
    stay stronger
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:56 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • You need to tell him that either you can be together and you have certain expectations or you can let him go. He has his own free will and you are fine with that. Don't be weepy or needy. Be strong infront of him whether or not you are dieing inside. If he really wants you and can see that you don't need him and can do just fine without him he will come around. And even if he doesn't do you really want to disrespect yourself like that? Respect yourself and he will respect you. With men it is about getting what that can't have that makes them want you. I am learning this myself right now, it is very hard but I think it is working. Good luck!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Thanks everyone. I would love to do the counseling thing, but he doesn't even want to try that. So now I need to learn how to get over him and plan for my future...the only thing is is he wants to "share" our son...I asked him if he really wanted to do that to our son and he said yes! I'd rather not deal with him at all...ugh....not sure how to proceed and deal with finally getting over him :(
    CindyLou122

    Comment by CindyLou122 (original poster) at 11:06 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Okay everyone I am officially done with my husband! I has a discussion with him and I he says we will never get back together....but wants to be "friends" for our sons sake. I can agree on that so I have done everything I could and now I am ready to move on! I think I just needed him to say the words, so I wouldn't misinterpret his "mixed signals"

    Thanks everyone for all your advice!
    CindyLou122

    Comment by CindyLou122 (original poster) at 9:45 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

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