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Military moms: do your kids suffer when your husbands are deployed for long periods of time?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • my kids dont suffer. we just go to a new normal. they skype once a week, more if neccessary. they miss their dad alot and their dad misses them, but this is all they have ever known. my hubby just came home from a 1yr deployment, and they all did fine around him, including the 1yr old baby. i made sure they saw pictures of him, watched videos and talked to him. even during his first deployment (which was in 2005) communication wasnt as good, and their was no skype once a week, i still showed pictures to the girls (i had a 1yr old and gave birth a month and a half after he left) i also played videos so they knew his voice. they did fine when he came home for leave and when he came home. now that he is home we just go to a new normal that includes him until he has to leave again.
    tiffanyv123

    Answer by tiffanyv123 at 5:48 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • wasnt this posted a day ago?
    Like the PP said. I wouldnt call it suffering. They do get very confused. But the older they get the more they'll understand. Just keep up on emails, letters, pictures, video chat. Let one another how much they love and miss one another.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:14 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • They don't suffer. They adapt and overcome. It's sad at first, but they are very resilient.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 10:15 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I wouldn't call it suffering. I would say that they miss someone they love dearly. My little ones cry every so often because something triggers them. It is hard on holidays or when they ask Santa for Daddy to come home for Christmas and you know that is not possible. Or for the last 4 Christmas for that matter. They learn to survive and adapt and as they saying goes absence makes the heart grow fonder.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:10 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • It was asked earlier, but I only got 2 responses.

    I asked this question because of another question I saw. Basically, the mom was depressed and wanted to move near her family, but it would mean moving their child across the country (USA). Some of the moms were telling her that it was wrong to take her child away from the dad, that a child can't be normal without a constant father figure (even with email, web cam, skype, phone calls, etc). So I wanted to know how military families functioned when the hubby's were deployed for a year at a time....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:21 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • It totally depends on the child and their age. When my husband deployed for the first time a few years ago. My son was 4 and had a relapse with his potty training. He had been trained since before 2 and went backwards. But this time he is older and he deals with it better. He asks repeatedly how many more days before Dada comes home? So I made him a count down. Most of the time they just need a hug and kiss. But it is hard when they see other kids with their dads. But what my family did was take a lot of pictures and we made a yearbook of everything Dad missed while gone. I just got it back last week and its awesome! Walmart online does it. But the kids get through it. And they do need rules to stay in place as they were when dad/mom was home. Consistency helps a lot.
    True_Gator_77

    Answer by True_Gator_77 at 12:57 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • When the parent and child are reunited, is the child uneasy around the parent? For example, does the child cry when the parent tried to hold him, or refuses to be left alone with the parent?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:58 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Yes. My step-dad was deployed for seven months during Desert Storm. We missed his presence at home.
    My daughter was six months old when my husband deployed. He was afraid she wouldn't remember who he was. She was extremely excited when he came back home.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 4:52 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Depends on the age of the child. When my daughter was 4 months old my husband deployed and came back when she was a year. She went to thi with no problems but for a couple weeks there she wouldn't go to him if she need some cuddling. I cant tell you how my 17 month will act when hubby returns when he is 21 months old. It will/might take a couple weeks to adjust but they will
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:46 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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