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are my expectations too high?

im filing for divorce the 18th of jan. the attorney charges a retainer fee in which covers 10 hrs of service and that most of her cases were done within that time limit. i plan on using my income tax check to pay at least 5 months of rent on a new place and moving expenses. i know wont be able to get what i want as far as a place and will probably end up in a cheap small apartment. 3bdrms run roughly 350-400 a month here. i applied for housing and there is a 4 month waiting list, so i figured if i pay ahead on rent with the tax check ill be good until housing kicks in.(we are gettin back 10k and we always split it) im a full time college student and have 3 kids. the places im looking into places that pay some utilities like water sewer and trash, and they are all elec and ill have to pay the elc and i have friends in these apts and their highest bill is 60. i hate the idea of living on welfare for a few months. ill get my pharm tech license next month and then i can start workin at a local pharmacy part time...15 hrs a week. im not even going to count on gettin child support, and yes im asking for it. i know that once he gets served he will quit his job.
i had a friend tell me that it wont work out cause she is also going thru a divorce and had to move to her parents but she wants a certain type of house. if i have to settle for a itty bitty apartment down town then im taking it. i want out of this marriage asap. after he cut my brakes last week im done, he got mad cause my pharmacy class went out to a restaurant for a class party and me and a male classmate showed up to the place at the same time so we walked in together and one of the woman that worked there told my husband that i was there with another man. well yeah him and my other 11 classmates and our instructor. (this was the last straw, he cheats all the time, got some 19 yr girl pg)
i dont think i can be afford to be picky. and all im asking for is full custody and child support, im not even gonna fight him on property, i could care less about the house and stuff. i know that i will get the kids cause he has a record of domestic abuse and child neglect on his record for beating me up in august. i know i should of left then..
would u take the cheapest place u could get and move on?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • i would as long as the place was big enough and good enough shape to satisfy a CPS visit if they were called (by the ex?)

    you're lucky a 3 bd here costs around $1000 a month lol, my two bedroom low income place(only income restrictions not adjustments) costs me $700.

    i think your plan sounds great and very well thought out. I would do as jademom said and have a backup plan just in case, also make sure you have the number for a shelter, just in case he gets crazy again.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 10:38 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I most definitely would take the cheapest place.
    I don't know about your family, but my family wouldn't hesitate to let me stay at their place......don't be too proud to take it, just to get back on your feet.
    I wish you the best. You sound like you have the best in mind for your children, and as long as you keep that outlook you will do amazing things for yourself and your family! xo

    Answer by CABlonde at 10:30 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • yes I would.

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 10:30 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I would take the smallest place i can afford.

    It sounds like you have everything thought out very well. You should also think of a back up plan...staying with parents or relatives for a breif period of time if needed.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:32 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I would and I did when I left my x

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:37 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • My goodness, that was alot to read...Yes, take the cheapest place, then move to a better place when things start looking up! As long as you & the kids are together, that's all that matters!

    Answer by Kathy675 at 10:38 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • I would.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 4:46 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I would take the cheapest place I could find, for sure. Even if it means moving in with family to give you more time to find a cheap place. If I were you, I would try looking into maybe buying a foreclosed home or a HUD home. Our mortgage every month is $200 for a 2-story, 3 bedroom, 2 bath home with a basement. If you meet the income bracket, the government will help with a downpayment. I could even do some research for you in whatever area you live in and find some websites with information. You've probably got a lot going on.

    Answer by Gemska at 9:41 AM on Dec. 21, 2010