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4 Bumps

Time outs

Marisa is going thru the horrid, terrible, frustrating 2's. She does ther classic temper tantums, plus a little flair for the drama. Or she gets ahold of something that she can't have, and when we go to get it from her, she throws it. She broke a dolphin figurine my mom gave me before she died. Have ni idea how she got it. It was in my room and we have a gate in the door way. I was soooooo upset, that I had to have a time out, so my DH took over. What kind of place does one need for a time out? I don't think her room is a good place because of her toys being in there. Out house is quite small, and very littler area to have a "time out" Do they need to be by themselves? Do we need to have her with in sight? And I'm sure ya'll know, we put her in a time out chair and of course she doesn't stay there. My sister told me once that we should tell her she is "naughty girl" instead of a "bad girl". Is there a reason for this? There are days she far surpasses being a "naughty girl"!!! When we put her in the chair, is she supposed to stay there intil she settlers down? Then count 2 mintues? Help!!!


Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 11:34 PM on Dec. 20, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • When our daughter goes in time out she is facing a wall. Because of her ADHD she can get distracted real easy. Since she started going to school we have adopted there terminology [can not actually remember what we used to say] ... she makes either good or bad choices. It puts the emphasis on the choice she made rather than making her feel she is a bad person. She is always in time out for 1 min/year so 6 mins atm.

    Answer by MumaSue at 2:38 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • With DS, we have him sit in a specific spot in the hallway. We start the two minutes when he sits down. We have a timer with an audible beep for when the time is up. Sometimes, he does get up, and we even have to hold him there. Then we ask him why he was in time out. If he doesn't understand why, we remind him. We explain why the behavior is not okay, make him apologize to the person he hurt or the parent handling time out, give a kiss and hug and move on. Sometimes it takes a few time outs to get the point across. We will say, "Why are you misbehaving?" Saying a kid is bad (or even naughty) makes them sound like they are inherently bad, and you want to get across that the BEHAVIOR is bad, not them. That they are good, but this behavior is not acceptable. Some days will be harder than others, that's just the nature of the beast. You can do this! Just be firm and CONSISTENT. DH too! Good luck! =)

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:42 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • It sounds like her room is the best place. What you can do is take out the toys before you put her in there. Then just set her on her bed and tell her she can come out when she is ready to be "sweet" then close the door and stand there for a couple minutes. You could also do the supernanny thing and get either a naughty step or a small patch of rug that is always used for her time out spot. When she gets out just keep putting her back in and the time doesnt start until she sits there quietly for the whole 2 minutes. (one minute for every year of age) It make take a couple weeks but stick to it hun she'll get better once she knows you're serious. One last thing is to not get upset. Make her think that handling her is easy breezy.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 11:43 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • Whenever I put my kids in timeout a place a kitchen chair in front of the wall where I can see them and make them stay there (1min for every yr). If they get up I put them right back and tell them why they are there and that every time they get up their time will start over. I usually only have to do this 3 times at the most and then they get it. They are 5 and 2. GL and so far it's worked very well for us. All I have to say when they are being bad is that they will go in time out and they usually stop. If not then they go to time out.

    Answer by jnsdrf at 11:43 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • music you are a love and logic mommy aren't you! lol

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 11:44 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • We've done everything and are still trying everything but mine are about to turn 3 & 4. For our time outs we put them beside the front door. I live in an apt so I'm able to see them from the kitchen. Sometimes if I'm in the living room then they stand beside the hallway's closet door. Anywhere that I can keep an eye on them not matter what I'm doing. IMO the bedroom has too many distractions with toys and what not. They rarely sit in a timeout chair because the chair became a "toy" and they would just spin around in it or face backwards. So now they have to stand and face the wall with their hands to their sides. My understanding of the time was time was to start when they hit timeout but IDK. My timer starts when they stop performing and stand like they are suppose to without playing. But to each his own. Just make sure whatever you do you're consistent. I wish you luck..


    Answer by Danni143 at 11:46 PM on Dec. 20, 2010

  • we have a timeout bench i place in a corner i find this works best because if shes facing the corner theres not as many distractions i leave her there 1 min for every birthday so shes two so now its two min nxt yr it will three she will try to turn her head around to look around but i just remind her why shes in there with a short statement like "we dont hit" or "we dont write on walls" timers are rly good but i dont place them where she can c it cuz then shes focusing on when her times up rather then wat we did when her times up i ask her if she knows why she had to go to timeout to reinforce the message and if she doesnt sem to answer me easily i repeat my short statement of explanation tht way works best for her but every child's different the key is to find the way that best soots your child and still b consistent bouncing back and forth tryin to find the perfect method can cause confusion

    Answer by ahmommy7 at 12:07 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • i would find a chair or mat for her to sit in. have it face a corner or wall. and her nose on the wall. u need to be in the same room so that if she tries to get out of the corner, u can just send her back. and tell her every time she gets out, she has to stay there for the alotted time again. (ex 1 min for infraction. leave time-out before time served, 1 min again) it wont take long for her to get the picture.

    but u also dont need to react when she throws a fit. if u have any kind of reaction, it just fuels the fit. calmly take her to her time-out. explain why she is there.

    what ever you do, stay consistant. if u flip-flop it will just take so much longer and she will continue to throw fits. once i got consistant w. my dd, she threw fewer and fewer fits. good luck

    Answer by Phippsandrea at 12:11 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Why did someone vote me down?

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:57 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I like that MumaSue. Hopefully, if we use the choices u made, and telling her that it was her idea might just work! She can be very head strong, and if we tell her that it was her choice..........hmmm it could work!! Thank u!

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 3:10 AM on Dec. 21, 2010