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If adopting, would you adopt any child or do you have a preference for age, etc.?

When one is looking to adopt a child would you accept any child or would you prefer an infant, toddler or older child? Can you state your reasons for your preferences, please. Would you adopt a child of a different ethnicity or race from your own? If yes, why...if no, why not? Thank you.

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LilLizaJane

Asked by LilLizaJane at 10:53 AM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (12)
  • Most people seeking adoption want an infant. They think an older child is "damaged" or has problems, which is unfortunate. there are hundred of thousands of kids in foster care that need real homes and someone to love them. As far as I think and believe, skin color DOES NOT make you a different race. We are ALL Human beings.


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    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 12:47 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I would have to see what would work best with my current family. At the moment i have a 4yr old girl, so i would probably choose a girl, either younger or a bit older then her, that way they can share a room together. I think its important to meet the children and talk to them and play with them to see if they are a good match in your family, you may miss out on a child, if you have too many preferences.
    FriendlyMoma

    Answer by FriendlyMoma at 3:25 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I am going to be brutally honest with this question. If I was going to adopt a child, I wouldn't give a hoot what origin, ethniticity, race, skin, etc. I WOULD, however, care about the age. Why? I guess because of my own child and/or potential children. I think I am a little traditional about that? I wouldn't want them suddenly having an older sibling, lol. Maybe some one will think that is awful of me, but it's how I feel. I don't have a particular set cut off age, though. I do have plans to foster or adopt later on, so I will have to see how it all plays out.
    KnoxvilleDoula

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 3:36 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • We have 2 two yr olds, and at the moment we have put a hold on our foster care license. We were offered another baby girl earlier this year and I was all set to say YES. Then we took the girls to a wedding that weekend and I realized we are just not ready for another one yet. We will begin the process again in May. I do have age stipulations...0-5yrs. If we would have been called about an older child first, then we would have taken any age. But with two little ones, I don't want to suddenly have a child that is years older than them in the house. I think it would be confusing to them. I don't have a preference for race, sex, etc.

    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 4:18 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • BUT...But I think people need to be realistic about what they can handle. I think that is an excellent statement by frogdawg!! I know in my heart that I would not be able to handle a child that has severe mental/physical challenges. I don't have enough patience to deal with that on a day to day basis. Those children deserve a VERY special set of parents, and I am in awe of any parent that can handle those issues. My youngest of the two has had to go through therapies since she was 6 months old, and I have been able to handle that.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 4:19 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • She was cocaine pos. at birth, and she has turned out to be a healthy little girl (although HIGH energy LOL!). We got her as a newborn, and didn't know what to expect as she grew older. I was ok with that then. But after going through all the worries, tears, fears with her, I know I wouldn't be able to do it again with a child I KNEW had those kinds of issues. I'm being totally honest in the fact that I just can't handle a special needs child. Some people have it in them to do that, and that makes them an inspiration to everyone, I'm just not one of those people.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 4:19 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • We have adopted 8 children who were waiting in foster care, have one bio child, and have 2 or 3 more children who will be coming home in the next few months (please pray for the 3rd to come). We only specify that it is a child who isn't harmful to other kids bc we want all of the ones we have to be safe. We've had kids come for adoption between the ages of 3 and 11 years old. I have asked that it probably be a child under age eight or if a sib group then at least one is under age 8. I've found the bonding is easier and if they have a younger sib then they bond easier even as an older child. I wouldn't rule out older completely either though. Ethnicity, age, special needs, etc are just not a big deal for us. We're all part of the human race and even bio kids can have special needs. I would not take another RAD child right now though bc I have one that is hard enough. lol
    mommy9

    Answer by mommy9 at 9:04 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I have biracial twin boys that we adopted as infants, though NOT through an agency. I knew their first mother. One of them was severely ill as a baby, but we just couldn't even consider not taking him. IF, he survived, we had no idea what he/we would have to deal with. We also knew that one or both could possibly have mental illnesses in their future. We still don't know the outcome fo that one. Both have severe ADHD and ODD. They are also having a hard time learning in school. Learning disabilities are a very likely diagnosis in their future. CONT.
    romeece

    Answer by romeece at 11:19 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • (CONT)
    That being said, I would like to adopt again. I would like a sister for my boys. The only age requirement I have is that she be younger than my boys. They are 6 now and we won't be ready to adopt again until they are at least 8 or so. Therefore, I think 3 or younger would be a good fit for our family. I'd like to have a little time to get to know her before she starts school, so I can help her be as ready as possible. As for race, that does not matter to me. I would actually prefer biracial, because they are harder to place where I live, and she would have big brothers who "look like her", which would be really good for her in this area.
    romeece

    Answer by romeece at 11:23 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I would love to adopt a little girl, between the ages of 3 and 6. We have 3 boys and a girl; she is 7, so I would want a child to be younger than her, just to keep the current birth order. But, I don't specifically want an infant. I've already been there 4 times, and I just want to give a needy child a home. (My daughter wants a sister, BAD!)
    Race is not, in any way, an issue. I could completely care less what color her skin is, or what she looks like.
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 5:33 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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