Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My parents have decided to come down for the holidays, but my father's dementia is getting worse.

My hubby has been very quiet lately and has been going to his lodge and very distant on the subject. So I told him my mom said she hopes you are ok with them staying over and he responded I am sure your brother would have them over. I was floored. My father's disease is getting bad in defense to my husband and we do have a son. So what should I do or say to my mom, hubby? Help, any advice??


Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 AM on Dec. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Unless your dad is somehow dangerous, I don't get why your husband would object. Maybe it's just that he's never dealt with older people and doesn't feel like he is going to be comfortable around your changed dad. The best approach may be just to reassure him that everything will be fine and that you need this time with your folks. Just feelig uncomfortable is not reason enough to turn them away from your home, and stepping outside one's comfort zone is very good for him.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:23 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • It would hard not to be offended if that were me. Maybe you can ask him why he feels that way. You should tell him how you feel. Your mom shouldnt have to feel alone in caring for your dad, especially during the holidays.

    Answer by Autumn07 at 4:35 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I agree with Autumn07. Dementia is hard to deal with. Your mother is losing or has lost the man she fell in love with and walked side by side with her in life. Your mother obviously feels close enough to you to want to be with YOU and your family. I lost my dad when I was 19 and what I wouldn't give to have one more moment with him. I think your husband is being unfair. This MAY be your last Christmas with your dad. Don't have regrets later when he's gone.

    Answer by mockitaz at 7:01 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I misunderstood ladies. Just said he thought my older brother would say he wanted them over. But he wants them over! I am so sad that I am getting so sleepy an d tired and did not hear correctly. I did not sleep at all last night. Thanks ladies . You're great!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:30 AM on Dec. 21, 2010