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has any one felt like this??? what does it mean??

we been married 3 yrs and have a 9 mnth baby girl and a baby on the way my husband and i dont have that spark that flame we used to have back then when we where going out and got married when i kiss him i dont feel nothing and when we have sex well is just sex and im pretty sure he kind of feels the same because he used to kiss me alot and hugged me well that stop we used to laugh about everything now we fight about everything dont get me wrong i still love him but i feel like something is missing like if the spark we had left it dosnt feel the same anymore we been stressing alot about money and we dont have our own place yet could it be that?? or could it be something else??? has any one feel like this with your dh

Answer Question

Asked by Genesis29 at 7:23 AM on Dec. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (824 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You need to read THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by Dr. Gary Chapman. What you are experiencing is very common in marriage, but it can be fixed. All you need is a little help.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:29 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Life gets in the way of your relationship with your DH. Kids, money issues, jobs,life period. Some times you just have to stop and go hug him. And tell him "I love you".

    Answer by louise2 at 7:37 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • This is a natural feeling when you undergo major life changes like having children. Unfortunately, finances also have a real impct on your life, especially if you do not have your own place. There are different periods in everyone's life when your relationship with your spouse takes on a new challenge. Discuss your feelings with your husband and encourage him to do the same. Keep the lines of communication open and try together to find solutions. You hven't been married too long and you're already on your second child; it's natural to feel differently about life in general.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:39 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • In my experience all relationships have these ups and downs. It sounds like you both have a lot of stress in your lives and you need to talk with each other. I know when I started feeling like you do, I would talk to my DH and find that he was feeling the same way and he thought that there was something wrong with me, like maybe I was mad or unhappy.

    The best advice I can give you is to talk with each other, life can become so complicated that we forget to take time to actually talk about how we are feeling and what is going on with us.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:41 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Having kids changes the dynamics of a relationship. It's not just about you two anymore, it's about the kids. If you can, i would suggest to occasionally plan something fun with your DH away from your kids. Maybe a night at a fancy hotel, or go see a show together.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:42 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • That happened with my ex, one of the reasons why we divorced. It's important that you take time to be a couple - date nights are really important! Finance worries can really take it's toll, you also need to set aside time to talk to each other.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:01 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • what your going thru is very common. just take a deep breath and dont freak. i suggest that you take one day at a time, be thankful for what you have and try your best to make your man the happiest man ever. if he loves you then he should be trying to make you the happiest woman ever so........ it should all work out =) now go eat some ice cream miss preggo girl and make that baby happy

    Answer by mistik75 at 12:45 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Yeah I think we went through that for six years and now things are good. But honestly honey marriage takes work. Having kids is difficult and you really have to expect that things will change. Take the time to go out on a date night. Talk to him and ask him how he is doing. Making him feel important will help him see that your important too.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 8:13 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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