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Is this normal?

My DH and I have been married for 7 years. He is the only man I have ever been with, and basically is the only guy I have ever dated seriously. He went to Iraq for a year and came home a different man. Things have been rocky in the 5 years he's been home, and I have been having thoughts of leaving. It's not horrible by any means, I am just not happy. I am not content with him being the only man I am ever with or the last man I am ever with. Is this normal?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Dec. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • yes its normal, but do you really want to leave the marriage because you aren't content that he is going to be the only man in your life. dont' leave a marriage because of that. but if you aren't happy and don't think the relationship will work out then my suggestion would be to divorce. Why go thru all that and put him thru it too if you aren't happy and haven't been happy for quite some time.

    Answer by lucky35 at 12:12 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Yes, i think it's normal. Go to counseling, it can really help. Many people argue that this is why waiting for marriage is not always the right thing to do.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:12 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • yes its very normal its just up to u if u wanna go or not

    good luck

    Answer by cnoble927 at 12:12 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I htink it's normal to feel antsy sometimes. Especially if you feel like he's not the same man you married. It's fairly common for wives to feel this way when their hubbies come home from being away. I know a friend of mine had similar problems when her dh came home from Iraq.

    I'm wondering if maybe some couples counseling would help things for you. It might certainly be worth a try before completely giving up and leaving. Try to remember at one point you loved this man so much you wanted to be with him forever. Don't give up yet.

    Answer by toykeymama at 12:13 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I forgot to add that both my hubby and I waited until our wedding night to have sex. I can't say I've thought about being with other guys, but sometimes I do wonder what it's like to have things to compare our sex life to. I think that part of what you're feeling is normal too.

    Answer by toykeymama at 12:15 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • All marriages hit rough waters where one or both people consider getting out, and if you are feeling this way and have been for quite some time then there is a good chance that DH may be having similar feelings. Which means now the two of you aren't so worried about fulfilling one anothers needs. War changes a person and it sounds like the two of you would REALLY benefit from counseling. You are only thinking about what what it would be like with someone else because things are not good between you two right now. You are truly blessed to have that kind of a bond with your husband-now days that is VERY rare and it is something that can be such an advantage in your marriage. I really encourage you to talk to your husband and try to find your way back into one anothers hearts because from what you have said that isn't anything really divorce worthy going on, just that they two of you are forgetting to love the other.

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Yes it's normal, but when you marry, you marry for for richer n poorer, in sickness and sounds like your hubby may have ptsd..which is very common with ppl that serve in wars... right now, he prolly needs your love and support more than ever! He probably just doesn'y know how to ask you for it. Not trying to sound harsh but maybe something you should've thought of before saying I do??

    Answer by xoluvmybabiesxo at 1:55 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I think so. You don't have to go far to explore. Ask him if he would like a break though. I think a divorce is going to the extreme. You might find a way back to eachother. It is hard being alone, so better make sure you are comfortable with yourself, he might move on to another relationship before you do, so you have to be prepared for that as well.

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 5:47 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Also, sex isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Finding that special someone can take a long time. I jumped from relationship to another in my 20's and part of my 30's before I got to be with my best friend, that I had met on a vacation. LOL We still have our problems but I am not going to throw away the best chance at happiness, bc it took a long time for us to get eachother back. He was married for 5 years and just got a divorce when we started talking again. I have never been married, but maybe some day. I will wait, when it is time for that extra step we will make it.

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 5:56 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • You want to leave because he is different and you are out of love with him? Make sure to re-commit to this relationship first because once the horse is out of the barn there is no putting it back.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 7:58 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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