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I cant do this...

I am 7 1/2 m pregnant and i have to have a c-sec. I have had 2 already. I have a 2yr old and my daughter will be 1 when this baby is born. She was not planned. I will have no help when i come home from the hospital. My SO can't time off from work. And I dont ask or help nor has anyone offered. They wont and if Idid they would get mad. Thats why i dont ask. How am i suppose to handle a newborn a 1yr old and a 2 yr old plus have to take care of myself with my incision. And i dont take the meds because i dont want to fall asleep so i didnt take them when i had my daughter.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • What you describe is a recipe for postpartum depression. You need help in the situation. You said someone would be mad at you for asking Do you have friends or family you could ask? You need to find someone who can help you. Maybe even a neighbor? Or you can talk to someone at your church they might be able to send someone to help you. Please try to find a way, you are right you will need all the help that you can get. I had a C and with only one child it was still really tough.

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:05 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Um your going to probably have to get some help...... id ask even if it makes them mad. Have you talked to you SO about him helping out when he can.... I dont know.... Do you have a friend that could come over while you nap or a neighbor or anything???? I feel for ya im comming home with a 6 yr old and 3 yr old and a 1 yr old but im not having a C Sec so its gonna be a little easier for me....Make sure your stocked up in Ex Strength Tylanol!!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:07 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • god wont give you more than he thinks that you cant handle. i think that you may do perfectly fine raising all three. i think if you feel stressed out at times and you feel you cant handle it then step away for a quick second and just breathe in and out and then go back. Motherhood comes natural to most people and you will know what to do. Maybe you should try asking someone for help the first couple of weeks. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!! May not be much help sorry.

    Answer by mybabe22 at 1:07 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I moved back to my home town so i would be near my old friends and family but they are the ones that would be mad. They act like i just need to suck it up and do it on my own. like its possible. I will because i HAVE to but if im around people that are suppose to be my friends and my sisters then i dont think i should have too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • i think that family should be there to help no matter what the situation is but i am sorry to hear that you dont have any help. What about your SO part of the family? cant they help you?

    Answer by mybabe22 at 1:13 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • thats funny they hate me they think im just trying to trap him. I know i just whining but ireally do need help and it really makes me upset for them to not help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • wow thats so mean to say. i mean you have three babies with him and they say your supposedly trying to trap him thats not right cuz if he wasnt happy then he could of just left but he didnt. I am sorry about your situation.

    Answer by mybabe22 at 1:41 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • The most important things you can do if you have to do it alone will be to rest whenever you can, let the housework go as much as you can and get everyone on a schedule as quickly as you can.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I think you're going to have to ask for help, but make sure it's necessary help. You need someone else to help with the other kids, maybe make a meal or two, but not to scrub your dishes and things.

    Planning as many things ahead of time should be a big goal for you. Make sure you stock up on supplies you need and foods you can throw together at the last minute (and that won't spoil). Spaghetti, soups, frozen waffles, mac 'n cheese, etc. Freeze as many meals as you can, and stock up on hamburger: you can freeze it and through something together with it in an instant. It's ok to slack on the meals a little when things are this crazy, as long as it's not a forever situation. As long as they don't go hungry, your kids will forgive you. Disposable plate and things will be helpful as well; remember, nature is a Mother, too. :) She'll understand.

    Oh, and if you don't already have one, get a baby carrier!

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 3:47 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Thanks you guys. I really appreciate the advice. I know i will do it it will just be hard. I did it alone with the other two when i had my daughter. My so works a lot but he tries when he is home. So i know when he is home he will help out it just when he isnt but like i said i will figure it out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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