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How do you rekindle or even start over after 10 yrs of marriage?

My hubby and I have been together for 11 yrs...10 married...3 kids. Somewhere along the line we have both just SETTLED!!! Whatever happened is was ok, but it was until "I" found my voice and questioned it even more after his newfound female relationship and texting. I am one that if it don't work the first time it want happen again...personal and religious beliefs. We are like night and day but it wasn't a problem we first started out.

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CDPmom08

Asked by CDPmom08 at 2:37 PM on Dec. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Start dating again! My husband and I have been together for over 23 years and married for 21 of those 23 years. We have a night out every other week. The first 10 minutes are child free conversation.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:41 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Try to remember why you feel in love with each other and try to relive those moments. I'm sure everyone feels this way at some point in their marriage it's just a rut. Start going on dates together. Get someone to watch the kids over night after have alone tme with one another
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:41 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Here's what I have learned (and what works for my husband and I) during my 25 years of marriage.

    What we did to "get" one another.we have to continue through the years in order to "keep" one another.. Sounds silly, I know. Especially when you figure we are 25 years older, have raised one son.. and so on.. However, it's true. Being in love with one another, being connected to one another, takes actions. Those feelings, the desire to be close, the desire to want to be together, the desire to want to do things together.etc. Are brought on by how we interact and how we treat one another, and by the the things we do not only for each other but what all we do together. We feel "in love" and connected when we first get into a relationship because BOTH people are trying their best to show they are the 1, that they love you & want you like no one else ever could. That's the attitude and the type of actions that must continue.
    Con
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:24 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • This has proven to work over and over again through 25 years for my husband and I.

    We put in quite a bit of effort (marriage is work after all..lol) in everyday to show one another how much we: love each other, appreciate one another, respect one another, WANT one another, desire one another...etc.. We both feel these things from the other on a regular basis, therefore we both recipricate. That's what helps keep the cycle going, we both want the other to feel these things, the bonus is that we get to feel them in return.

    Many years ago. I fell under the fallacy that cleaning house/doing launder/cooking..etc showed my love and appreciation. My husband fell under the fallacy that bringing home a steady paycheck showed those things. We BOTH felt unappreciated. Those times sucked. I'm glad we BOTH learned how to treat & appreciate one another better, or at least how to show those things to one another better.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:29 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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