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Help my dad just beat up my mom.....should we call an intervention?

so my dad has always been verbally and was a long time ago physcally abusive to her. he never hit us kids.. any ways , he stopped hitting her years ago and we thought he had changed. i guess sunday night it got really bad and he punched her in the face and choked her and she bit his hand to get away and ran to a neighbors ended up in a domestic violence women shelter..
and of course no surprise she wants to still work on it cuz he says he wants to go to counseling. so the thing is should we mind our own business. we are all grown with our own lives and she keeps going back. she left the state before and went back.. i would love to fly her out her to live with me in NC.. but what should we do.. what would you do if that was your mom and dad. i mean i care about them both. but enough is enough right?

 
NaiveDream

Asked by NaiveDream at 4:56 PM on Dec. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,403 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I wouldn't give a shit if she didn't want anyone to call the police.
    I wouldn't just sit back and do nothing, either. But, I'm just like my dad. (he's not abusive, he's very protective) My very first instinctive reaction would be to get in my car and drive. I'd want to go get her, pack her shit to bring her home with me. Then I'd also want to take a bat to my dad's knees for what he did. I'd want to bash him up pretty badly. And in all honesty, IF I ever had to witness anyone else in my family be physically abused again, this may very well happen. (our parents were not abusive, ex's were. I've had enough.) Like I said, I'm protective, like my dad.

    I know, SHE has to have had enough. But, at this point I think it's safe to say she's got a mental state. She's an abuse victim. I don't mean it to be ugly. My ex held a gun to my head, I've been abused. They change you. You have to fight for her until she's ready to fight.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:46 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • It got to be enough for her. When she really get sick and tired of it then she will do something about it. Until then you are going to have to let her live her life. Its hard i went through the same thing with my parents, its going have to be her decision. GL
    nicjon

    Answer by nicjon at 4:59 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • If it were my mom, I would talk to her and tell her my concerns and what I think she should do. I would let her know that I was there for her and would help her in anyway I can. It is ultimately up to her but I would have to share how I felt with her because if anything ever happened I would not want the guilt of not at least telling her how I felt and offering my help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I would def call an intervention. With just her though of course. Get everyone together without bashing your dad and let you mom kknow that you love her so much and are worried for her safety. Let her know that its her choice but that you really want her to be happy and would want her to do the same for you in return. I wouldnt go crazy with a lot of ppl. Just sibling and maybe her parents if they are still living. Good luck. Thats def a horrible situation to be in.

    P.S. Is there any way you can talk to your dad and let him know that hes hurting you and needs to let your mom go?
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:04 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • See what they decide. If they go to counseling then no need for an intervention
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:18 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Nope. He won't change and she really should not expect him to. He has proven it time and time again. She has to make the decision that she has had enough. Ask the real question how many women die in this country from domestic violence? 4 Women die daily that is 1,460. This is a low number because how many are really reported.
    I don't know what to tell you but I would ask my mother to move on and away from him.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 6:08 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • U need to put ur foot down on this one.And it is u and ur siblings buisiness about ur mother going thru suttin like that.No woman or man should go thru abuse from a spouse.U and ur siblings need to put a stop to it now before u get that awfull phone call.Your mom might get mad at yall but she'll thnk u all in the long run.Please dnt stand by,do suttin about it.
    carisa368

    Answer by carisa368 at 6:34 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • This is going to be hard if she does not want you to call the police. If he hit her this time he will hit her again he is falling back on old behaviors. Counseling will help on face value or until he gets mad again. My father was abusive to all of us for thirteen years he was hitting her in private, hitting us and calling it punishment. My mom had enough of it afterwards when I moved in with him he started hitting me. So she is the one who is going to have to say enough.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:04 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Normally people who are abusers do not change. Your Mom and Dad should go their separate ways. I mean seriously things could have been a lot worse. It really has to be a decision your Mother makes for herself. I would certainly do everything within my power to get my Mom away from the abuse, but if she really has to be committed to leaving your Dad. I know this must be hard on you as their daughter and I wish the best for your Mom & Family
    tracylyn245

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 4:04 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Does any one think counseling works with abusive alchoholic men
    NaiveDream

    Comment by NaiveDream (original poster) at 5:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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