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This is ridiculous!!

My husband as been best friends with J for over 20 years.. and I was really good friends with him for over 2 years (we all hung out with the same crowd.. he was roommates with him before we moved in together...) until he got his on and off again gf preggo.. then he couldnt talk to me... barely spoke with my hubby.. (she didnt like either of us??) anyway had a couples baby shower and didnt invite us.. invited my hubby's mom to the other but didnt invite us.. when the baby was born he didnt tell my hubby which hospital... then the next day got a text from the fiance' saying she was shocked we hadnt been to see the baby... how would we when we didnt know which hospital.. and my hubby even asked him... but we went that day to meet the new member of the family... he(J) finally got sick not being able to see/talk to his best friend who pretty much is like his brother.... anyway he started coming around more often . but not too often.. we invited them to our baby shower and they came and she acted like she FINALLY was cool with us. BUT when our son was born, they didnt come see him... and he will be a month on Friday... no attempt to come see him or anything.. and my husband called his parents tonight to ask if they wanted to come meet him.. I dont think it is cool that he had to call to ask his parents and him when they were going to meet our son (these people have always been about R & J being like brothers and they were the other set of parents etc etc .. and expected us to be there when his son was born but has made NO attempt to come meet our son) so i dont think WE will be TAKING him to meet them ??? how crappy is that.. you can't even drive ten minutes down the road to meet him???? you live like 10 min away and cant meet our son.. dont even try?? i am really upset that he even called to ask them. i know his feelings are hurt but this is how i look at it.. i tell my friends and family when my children are born.... you make the effort to come see them if you want to meet them.. all of my good friends do... i know he is a good friend so he should have already met him.

 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 8:18 PM on Dec. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Don't push it I would feel sorry for them they are letting some chick tell them what to do is very sad. They are the ones missing out, Let the guys work things out if they want.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 8:45 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I didn't want anyone around my newborns for as long as possible. I didn't want them spreading their germs on the baby. I wouldn't sweat it myself.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:20 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Maybe the two friends had a falling out that you were never told about. Or your husband did something to piss his friend off and thats the reason why he wont talk to him but your husband failed to tell you what really happen
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:21 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • i doubt that it was a falling out i never heard of for 3 reasons.. 1. my husband tells me pretty much everything.. 2. J would call and say he was coming over and would be there in an hour and then call an hour and half later saying she wouldnt let him (i either answered and he told me or i would be sittin beside my hubby when he called) 3. a mutual friend of ours (R,J,& myself) got in on the good list with his fiance and she told her that she didnt like us because he(R) took up too much time with (j) and I was tooo friendly with J.
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 8:28 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I would say just let them go. When it was all about her and her baby and you were focusing on them it's fine. But she can't deal with it being about you. Obviously she has influence over his parents as well, I would just walk away. If he wants to be a part of his friends life he will have to make the effort. Congratulations on your new arrival!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:29 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Thank you Austinsmom35! we are very proud of our little man :)
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 8:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • you sound like my sister in law. find out that's she's mad because you didn't do this or that when you didn't know it was expected.

    sounds like a communication break down to say the least. Sounds like you are expecting them to come around since they know you had a baby.
    Did you ask them over? why wouldn't someone wait for a invite? Many people don't want to rush in on someone who has just had a baby, thinking they will be a inconvenience.

    why exactly do you think that the friends Fiance doesn't like you, when in fact she made the contact wondering why you hadn't seen the baby?
    sounds like she thought you knew where the hospital was.

    have you asked the friend J if there is a problem and what can be done? I think that you are assuming too much.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:35 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I expect them to act the same as they expected us to act (especially since they treated us like crap and we "turned the other cheek" and let it go and treated them as if nothing had happened.. i dont expect them to just show up but at least a call to say "hey, when you guys are all settled in and ready for company let us know so we can meet him" as soooo many of our other friend did. especially since they are "like brothers" and his parents were calling themselves g-ma / g-pa and J is Uncle J. and as I have said in an earlier post.. she TOLD another friend of ours that she didnt like us because my hubby used to take up too much of J's time and I was too friendly (she didnt like that when we seen each other we hugged) and My hubby and J have talked about the problem (on occasional phone calls before he put his foot down and told her that she wasnt pushing all his loved ones out of his life.. she even tried CONT
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 8:44 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • to get him to stop talking to his parents) she was controlling didnt want him talkin to anyone.. or spending any time with any one other than her and her family. and

    she couldnt have thought we knew where the hospital was for the simple fact that when R got the text saying we're having the baby and he asked which hospital... he only got texts saying.. hey man just waiting for the dialtion... shes on meds sleeping.. and NEVER a text saying which hospital..
    but the next morning saying WHY WERENT YALL HERE?? whats up with that thought you would want to meet your nephew
    Ross2010

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 8:48 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • obviously ur hubbies friend is more concerned about making his gf unhappy and having to deal with fall out than worrying about wat his good pal thinks or feels some relationships are just like that. wen they get together the rest of humanity cease to exist within their bubble. the best thing for u to do is let it go and if they come around later then great it does happen especially wen mom wants to make friends and get advice for baby and since u guys r in pretty much the same boat in timing with ur children it will likely happen so just be patient and dont let it affect u its not improtant enough to have at the forefont of ur mind.
    chucho317

    Answer by chucho317 at 8:48 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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