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Okay so, my steps have been having a rough time since their parents divorce (it was about 5 years ago when they were young). My step-son has been acting out at school, and has even been kicked out of the school he was going to and forced to go to the school he lives in district of. He had told us that he was going back to therapy, but his mom had only said that the therapist wanted to meet us, that was it.
Tonight I get a call from the therapist, and she wanted to know what I thought of the matter. I told her that I felt that there was abuse in the mom's household and that the mom has basically given up on her children since she has them at our house nearly everyday and all day. I mean, the only time this woman spends with her kids is while they are asleep in her house. I told her that CPS (child protective services) knew there was abuse at the mom's house, but becasue she was intimidating the kids into not saying anything they refused to do anything about the issue, except tell us that if the kids ever said or had any marks on them again then we were to call CPS immediately.
I told her that I hear horrow stories of how my step-son acts out at his moms house and she ships him to her grandmother's house or her new MIL's house. Or, if they can't take them then she bring him to us. I told her that we keep both of them until their bedtime, and that their mom hasn't supported us in anyway. I gave the example of my step-daughter asking if Santa was real and coming up with him not being real on her own (she'll be 9 years old in a few weeks and very mature for her age) and how the mom told me that I had to tell her that she was wrong and Santa was real. The therapist couldn't believe me, I even told her about the dog dying and how the mom had left it to me to comfort the kids, and how she got mad that I told them that maybe their dog died because God wanted to answer their prayers for more money and knew the dog would get sick or something and decided to let him die in a car accident instead of suffer through the sickness.
I know that some of you will baulk that I spoke so much and tell me that it was none of my business to tell her that much information, but I felt that if these people were to help my step-son with his anger problems, and be able to reach him effectivly, then they needed to know the whole truth of the matter. I thought that if she knew what happened when they split, the custody battle, the fight with CPS, everything that had gone on, then they would be better able to help my step-son out, especially since his mom said she wasn't worried about his behavior at home and only wanted them to work with him at school.
Iguess my question is this, would you out a bio-parent, telling the history of the trama that the child went through to a therapist in order to help that child overcome their hatred and rage?

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Asked by momnstepmom at 9:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,128 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • Of course its all about the child and if the bioparent (even myself) was adding to or causing the problems then I would want the therapist to know that.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:38 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • of course I told her what it was like in my house, of course, she was able to hear for herself since I had all 5 of them in the living room playing. I did step out of the room when discussing certain things that might have cast their mother in anything other than a good light (court orders state that we can't talk badly about each other in frount of the kids even though they tell us that she does it all the time we don't becasue we know she'd take us to court for violating the court orders even though she also knows we can't afford to take her to court for the same thing)

    Comment by momnstepmom (original poster) at 9:42 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

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