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4 Bumps

can't take it....

UGH! Anyone else have a DH that would rather go into another room and watch TV instead of staying with you and your children??
Mine does this ALL THE TIME!! Or he'll take the baby upstairs and hold her while she sleeps even though he KNOWS that I want her to sleep in her bed so that she doesn't become dependent on being held while sleeping!
He especially does this when we have all 5 kids in the house. I'll have dealt with their attitudes, disrespect, fighting, backtalking, smart-mouthing, whining, all day LONG, and he would come home from work saying "oh baby, it was such an easy day today, hardly anyone came into the store" and then go upstairs to 'lay down' since he's tired. After an hour I'm asking if he can watch the kids for 30 mintues so that I can unwind and destress. He'll say "sure go ahead" but within 5 minutes he's fussing at the kids, getting onto them, they are crying for me, and I can't unwind. I'm so stressed!

 
momnstepmom

Asked by momnstepmom at 9:49 PM on Dec. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,128 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I know it's hard, but if you want to have him watch the kids for 30 minutes then you have to let him do things his way. My dh and I have totally different ways of doing things. By you going downstairs when your kids are crying for you I'm wondering if this is showing them that they don't really have to listen to daddy. It's not showing a united front. IMO. Leave the house and go get a cup of coffee by yourself or go to your friends for a few hours .. don't stay there and listen to it, get out and remember what it feels like to have free time.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 9:54 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • I haven't had this prob personally but my bff did and she divorced him since she was basically on her own anyway. Now she gets child support and every other weekend to herself!
    harris4

    Answer by harris4 at 9:52 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • can't divorce him, if I do that then I loose 2 of my kids since I'm only the step-mom and the bio-mom would never let me see those kids if she had a choice about it. I love those kids and don't want my kids growing up knowing that they have siblings out there but not being able to see them. And I could never force him to have to handle the 5 of them all on his own since I know he would never move on (we seperated during the summer last year and he was so depressed that MY family was worried about him).
    I know he tries, but it's just, like the momma in me isn't willing to let go, and he gets so overwhelmed that he just lets me take over. I know I'm justifying his behavior, but I would never be able to relax, even if we did divorce and I got every other weekend to myself. I'd still be calling everyday, several times a day.
    I just wanted to know how many other women were out there like me. Stressed but stuck.
    momnstepmom

    Comment by momnstepmom (original poster) at 9:57 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • Talk to him about it, all parents , parent differently. Communication will go a long way.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 9:58 PM on Dec. 21, 2010

  • def leave the house, a good walk even if it's ten minutes will really help you
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 9:59 PM on Dec. 21, 2010