I have been a SAHM since my son was born. He is now 2 and a half. My husband and I aren't living together right now because of where he works and where we live. I have been alone with my son for over 9 months only seeing DH once or twice a month. We will start living together again in the next month or 2. I know when we do he will want me to get a job.
Just the thought of getting a job and being with out my son is terrifying. I tried to go back to work when he was just over a year and I couldn't. I couldn't make it through the door of the office at one place after 2 weeks of working there and I couldn't even make it through the door of my home with the second by the 3rd day.
I become paralyzed with fear and it feels like I am going to puke. It feels like my brain freezes and I can't think. It is blind panic. Just the thought of having to work gives me anxiety.
Going to work was hard enough before I had DS. I have only ever worked part time because of anxiety and agoraphobia isssues I had in the past. Before I had DS I was getting way better with them, but now it is worse then it ever has been and it seems to steam from working. I am not lazy, I do a lot of hard work day in, day out. This is spasicly about working and I just don't under stand what is going on.
Any help or suggestions would be great.
Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:24 PM on Dec. 21, 2010