• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do u deal with Remarks and stares?

Everytime I go ANYWHERE with my son just because of the noises he makes kids,parents laugh at him.I get so mad but I get hurt even more.What would u do or say?I cry all the time.Please I need some advice on what to do.Thanks

Answer Question
 
Bigguysmomma

Asked by Bigguysmomma at 3:56 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • tell them to go screw themsleves. I use to get crap like that all the time and so did my mother( but not over a child, thats just worse) but because i have a good amount of tattoos and had Bright purple hair, my mother always took up for me and you should so it for your son. God works in wonderful ways and pay back can be a bitch
    mommadent

    Answer by mommadent at 3:58 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Aw, I'm sorry you're dealing with rude people. I was looking at your profile and saw that your son is autistic. People will always stare at others that have disabilities, because they don't understand. Hang in there, and I would find a support group. My daughter has developmental delays and low muscle tone, and sometimes when people see her AFO braces, or her lack of language, I wish I just had a sign that said why. It would be much easier to have a sign on your son that says Stop criticizing, I'm autistic. But that's just not the way it is. Short of telling them to leave him alone, he can't help it, there isn't much you can do. Good luck.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 4:17 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Ignore them. My three year old son can't talk, at all except for a few words (and yes he is receiving help and is making improvement), but anyways people always get in his face and try to talk to him and ask him questions. I tell them he can't talk but they just look at me funny and keep asking him questions, so I usually just walk away and tell my son it's ok. I know it doesn't bother him because he doesn't understand but it hurts me that people can be so ignorant and don't understand that all kids are different and develop differently.

    maggieradford

    Answer by maggieradford at 4:27 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • My son has Down Syndrome and he gets a lot of stares at only 11 months old. It hurts and it's difficult some days and I'm so there with you. In the end you love your son and that is all that matters. People are so ignorant and hurtful. Children are the greatest gifts ever and without them our lives would be empty. Those people will never understand. Some days I ignore it and some days I tell them to go screw themselves. It depends on my mood. Lately I've just been trying to inform people more than anything. I hope things go better for you and your family. Message me if you need to talk.
    nightwillow

    Answer by nightwillow at 4:58 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • blow it off honey. it is not that big of deal. They will get over it. When they stare tell em to take a picture. yes I still use that line. haha I will shout it at them.
    jessicamelia83

    Answer by jessicamelia83 at 5:17 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Blowing it off (although it's easier said than done) just goes to show that you're more mature than those idiots who stare. So, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND TELL EM TO KISS YOUR ASS!!!!

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 6:49 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • This is what I'd do to get my point across...Without looking directly at the person, look at your son and say to him, "sweetheart, unfortunately we're going to have to put-up with low-class, ignorant, individuals who stare and allow their own snot-nosed IQ deficit children to make comments. Bless their stupid little hearts for they know no better!" Then you might want to look at them in the eye and sport them a grin!

    I have a very sharp/curt personality, so this may or may not work for you!

    Paige

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I don't have a child with special needs but I do get comments everywhere I go on my son. My son is black and I am white. I get asked what country he is from or how much did he cost. Sometimes I get asked if I am his real mom. And other times I get stares and I suspect people are snickering in disagreement. Depending on the situation and where I am is how I choose my approach. I have some friends who have pre-made cards printed with an explaination of her son's disorder. She hands them out to rude adults/teens or well intentioned people who want to give her parenting tips. Sometimes she walks up to them, smiles, and asks if she can answer questions they might have about her child's disorder. If my son didn't notice and it didn' impact or hurt him directly - I would let it go. If he was aware I would find a few standard ways to cope when situations come up.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:22 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.