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3 Bumps

What would be your reaction to this? adult content

Ok so last night my s/o was at work and began shitting blood. He called and told me, at which point I asked if he was gonna go to the er. He said I dunno I'm gonna think about it. I said ok but let me know what you decide. About an hour later I tried calling to see if he was any better or what was going on. I didn't get an answer. So I waited a bit and tried again, turns out he was already in the er, and was waiting on xrays. I was a little upset and hurt that he didn't call me first. So I posted such on facebook.
When he got home he sat and played on the computer a bit. He then logged into facebook, and got pissed at me for posting that on my facebook page. He then proceeded to go off on me telling me I am not allowed to write anything about him on MY facebook page. So I went in and deleted the post.
This is not the first time he has told me that I am not allowed to do something. I am not allowed to cut my hair, he wants it long. He doesn't eat poultry, so I have to cook everything but. He then gets pissy about what I have cooked at times because I didn't cook it the way he prefers. I have no friends here, he sees to that, if I get one he finds some way to run them off, or they just plain stay away because of his attitude. I am at my wits end.
I'm just not sure what to do. We have been living together about a year and a half, but things since his back surgery in september have just taken a down ward spirial. I LOVE him more than anything, but I'm begining to hate him with all of these restrictions! Advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Dec. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I agree with him on the FB thing. I wouldn't put personal things about someone else on my FB page. My kids won't allow me to post things about them on there. I respect their wishes. As for being upset he didn't call you, did you ever think he was scared and not thinking of chatting? The rest of the don't allows, he set some boundaries and you accepted them. If they bother you then renegotiate those boundaries. If any are deal breakers then you can always move on

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:58 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • You had NO business putting anything about him on FB. He was right - that's his personal business and not your story to tell. As far as the other things go - you have to decide what you will accept. It sounds like he is a little possessive/controlling- only you can determine if you can live like that. Personally, I can't, but only you can decide for yourself.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:02 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • My only concern would be that he tells you what to do. You are a grown woman and if you want to cut your hair, it's your decision not his. The FB thing I could not agree more. It is really agitating when people air their personal problems on facebook. As for not callilng you? Inconsiderate sure but maybe he was scared. The thing is, if you allow him to tell you what to do, it's going to continue.

    Answer by AmeliasMommy206 at 9:02 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Your problem started when you obliged to his every whim, if something does not sit right with you, you got to speak up and tell him! If you allowed him to restrict you, he will keep doing, it. It is not too late to put your foot down, explain to him, you do not need a father but a husband, or a mate in a 50.50 deal.
    You sit down with him and talk about what aggravates you now, or he will aggravate you for life.

    Answer by older at 9:03 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I think the most important issue here is HIS HEALTH!!! It sounds like something is seriously wrong with him DID say he was ..."shittng blood",right? @@
    And you are only worried about the Facebook thing?

    Answer by kerp1960 at 9:03 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Although I agree about the fb thing, he does seem very controlling and I would be concerned about what type of abuse it could possibly lead to.

    Answer by elwalters77 at 9:03 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I agree with the facebook thing too. However he doesn't allow you to cut your hair and runs off friends? He sounds like he has been controlling, talk to him about why he is acting that way, sometimes they have a reason (not necessarily a good one but still) With the cooking- I would tell him he is free to cook if he doesn't like what I made- but he has to do his own dishes. good luck... I hope you guys get through this, counseling may be a good option

    Answer by lovemylilman06 at 9:04 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • He shouldn't tell you what you can and cannot do. That is not a healthy relationship. As the others have said the fb thing is understandable.

    Answer by SimplySybil at 9:15 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • You should not be writing about him on FB. It does not seem to me that you really love him. You just think you love him and are afraid of going on your own.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:19 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Well my husband would say the same thing, but it's your page write what you want....and all the people bashing you...I bet their husband don't know what they write on here! BUT do not let him control you. You aren't a child and he is not your dad!

    Answer by bbbrussell20 at 9:28 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

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