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2 Bumps

Does your family think that a marriage will solve everything?

My aunt is encouraging her 22 yr old daughter to marry this guy she just met 5 weeks ago at a frat party.
My cousin has an 8 mo old son,and a 2 yr old son who was taken away by CPS because she was feeding him nothing but water and cherry Kool-aid for 3 months between 3-6 months old
She's never had a job,refuses to work,and would rather just go out drinking 4-6 days a week
This guy is either a total moron,doesn't know the half of what he's about to get into,or knows and is a control freak and thinks he can fix her.
Her mom thinks that if she gets married to this guy,all will be fixed and then she can get her older son back. I said if she has no motivation single,what makes you think she'll have any while married?


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 10:05 AM on Dec. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • this is crazy
    sounds like a last ditch dream to have this cousin make ANY good choice in life for her kids
    like some guy she does not know will be better than her


    Answer by fiatpax at 10:10 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I believe you're right. Your cousin needs to grow up and marriage won't magically make her do it. She needs a counselor, NOT a husband! My sister was in a spot about like that. She got pregnant way too early, didn't want her life or her child, but mother insisted she "do the right thing" and get married. She grabbed the first interest--a man THIRTY EIGHT YEARS older and it was a disaster all the way around. Counseling was doing her so much good but she quit because she thought she knew more than the counselor!! If she'd just get back to it I think she'd be okay and I think that's the best solution for your cousin.

    Answer by LivinWell11 at 10:14 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Wow...yes, my aunt was like this with her daughter. She has 4 kids and she thought...well if they get married, she will stop having kids by so many men. All 4 kids have a different father.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:17 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • sounds like the whole family is messed up :(
    desperation does not make someone else fix themselves.

    Answer by javamama603 at 10:43 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I'm with you. In fact, if she's like this now how much will she try to rely on someone else once married? Her mom will be in for a big surprise unless she is EXTREMELY lucky (which I doubt). As for him, my guess is on the control side... but I don't know. Maybe he really loves her. Hmmm... 5 weeks isn't much time to know about the rest of your life. But what the heck, miracles can happen. =)

    Answer by firenicecream at 10:50 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Wow and this will fix her? This is the thing women say about men or some say about abusive or cheating men well if I marry him he will not insert what you wish just because she gets married will not make her stop drinking or be responsible she has to want it for herself. five weeks sounds more like a future abuser??? I would wonder why she is trying to push her own kid under the bus so quick?


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:41 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • My aunt,and most of the women in my family for that matter,believe in fairy tales. The prince coming to sweep you off your fet deal. only problem is,they themselves chose alcoholics,abusers,and sex offenders.

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 12:05 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • wow you cant just make someone marry somebody with getting to know someone or being friends for a while

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:37 PM on Dec. 22, 2010