i was so livid this morning, beyond livid. ears steaming to give you a better mental picture.
our oldest woke up early, like she does every morning. she wanted breakfast as soon as she woke up and at 6:30, before my coffee, im not ready for anything yet. so i told her wait a little while, til her sisters wake up (which is usually by 7) and ill make everyone breakfast.
7 rolls around, our youngest had a dirty diaper so in the middle of changing it DD asks for breakfast. i tell her either wait til im done with sister, or go ask daddy. daddy was laying in bed this whole time watching tv, wide awake. i see her walk back down the hallway sulking, asked her what daddy said and she said "he said no" so i tell her to go tell him mommy said please do it. again she said he said no. i get them breakfast myself, after cleaning up the baby, stomp into our room and say "you cant get off your ass to get them breakfast?" and he says "well yea i can but.." and that was that, he looked back at the tv.
maybe this one incident isnt' a huge deal. but it's the straw that broke the camels back in my eyes. he doesn't go to work til 10 every morning, giving him plenty of time to be with the kids and yet he stays in bed for hours first watching tv or playing video games. when he gets home it's not til 7:30 at night and then only gets to spend maybe an hour with them. i get that he wants his "downtime" after work so i don't bother him, but the kids don't care about his downtime and just want to be with daddy. and not to mention, my "job" as being a stay at home mom doesn't end when he walks in the door. i still have to bathe and put everyone to bed, and it's usually done by only me.
furthermore, he leaves his clothes all over the floor rather than putting them in the hamper. i do laundry almost everyday, and have stopped picking his shit up off the floor. then he gets mad that his jeans aren't washed. i've explained to him numerous times that if our 4 and 2 year old can walk their dirty clothes to their hampers, so can you (a 25 year old grown man). i didn't become his mother or his maid when i married him. and i sometimes feel like i took on the responsibility of a 4th child rather than a husband. also, he snacks at night and leaves his dirty bowls, plates, cups etc on the night table. they stay there for days, he refuses to walk them to the kitchen. his only chore around here is trash, and most of the time it will pile up to 4 bags before he "gets to it".
im just sick and tired of it. sometimes i feel like if all he wants to be good for is a paycheck, there's no point in being married. we should be a united front, working together with the kids and with eachother. we're coming up on 2 years of being married, and nothing has changed! all i ask is for a little help with OUR kids, and for him to atleast pick up after himself. i really dont think that's asking a lot. and i dont think because im a sahm im required to be his maid/mother. i appreciate his hard work, i really do. i tell him that everyday. i wish he'd appreciate me more as his wife and mother of his children.
ok.. i feel better now that i've gotten that off my chest. sorry for the super long vent. im at my wits end and i dont know what to do. i dont want to leave him, but i dont want to continue this way either. its ridiculous.
Answer by fiatpax at 10:23 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by tootoobusy at 10:26 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by missanc at 10:33 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by NannyB. at 10:34 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:35 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by MizLee at 10:36 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by MizLee at 10:41 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Is your man my man? I feel ya and I sincerely know it SUCKS. Even with talking to him about it it does NO good. But if I do something to irritate him he'll do things like this even more just to aggravate me. =(
I wish I had an answer. I really do. I think it might be a bit easier to tolerate if I did.
With that all I can say is...
Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:42 AM on Dec. 22, 2010
Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:33 PM on Dec. 22, 2010