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How can I get closer to mt mother in law?(She has always tried to play me and my hubby against each other)

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Asked by jostew63 at 11:13 AM on Dec. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Why do you want to be close to someone so manipulative? It only leaves the door open for more drama. How about be decent and cordial and leave it at that. Don't try to force a relationship that isn't there. Been there done that got the T shirt.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:16 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Musicmom has a point - I brought myself so much grief trying to get along with my MIL, now I just don't care. I keep her at a distance and it makes my life much better.

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:19 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I would wonder why she is fighting you so hard if you try and it does not change know you made some effort and leave it alone.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Thanks,I am glad that I am not the only one who has been through bad times. I do try to always be nice and just do what I have to do,but she still tries to twist the knife any chance she gets(if you know what I mean?)She cals my hubby at work and pulls out the guilt card and then it is always me who ends up paying the price.

    Comment by jostew63 (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Don't fall into her traps. And whatever you do, don't badmouth her to your hubby, it'll make you look bad. Keep a smile on your face, say the nice things, don't get involved in trying to vy for your husband's attention and then eventually she'll come around and realize that you are an asset and not a threat. It takes time. Mothers have a hard time letting go of their role and letting go of their children a bit. I can imagine I'll be hated as a MIL too some day!

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 11:28 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • There are some people in life that you simply cannot have a relationship with them. My mother-in-law was such a person. I tired for more than 40 years, and I never made any progress. In fact, I think she resented me worse in the end than in the beginning. What you can do is love and support your husband, don't speak badly of his mother, smile a lot, and hold his had when you go to visit. We do not have the power to change another person, but we do have the power to not let ourselves be bothered by those people.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:38 AM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • yeah just be the best wife & daughterinlaw dont say mean things about his mom yeah always hold his hand when you visit & always keep a smile on your face just dont try so hard just keep your distance & always be respectful to her

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 12:17 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I would stay away from her. Smile a lot and walk away, that is the best if she is under the same roof. If she starts having an attitude with you, just leave. Let her do a little thinking of her own for a while, she might come around.

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 1:29 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Musicmom80 is right. If I had a MIL like that I would never that to her.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:33 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Thanks so much for all of your advice.I am going to try and do what ya'll said.We have to go over to her house for Christmas Eve.I am just praying it will go smoothly.

    Comment by jostew63 (original poster) at 4:59 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

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