I went to the Dr. (a specialist I had never been to before) for my diabetes. Things went well til he asked me to strip down and he'd be right back. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. I was raped almost 5 yrs ago - but I DO NOT have "naked exams" anymore. I asked him to please send the nurse in first. Another nurse comes in and I tell her "I cannot do this". She goes out and talks to the Dr. who says he wants to look over my skin to see what if any rashes or spots I have. (I had already answered his question about this before - there are one on my left leg and one on the top of each foot - I would pull up my jeans and take off my socks for him to see. Nope, that won't be necessary he'd said.)
Well, I can tell you me sitting there ass naked isn't going to help him see it any better. Ummm, I thought this was an appointment about my diabetes?! The nurse comes back. "He really needs to examin you so if you just...." I interupt her: "You are not understanding me - I CANNOT DO THIS". "Well, why not?" I said "I don't feel comfortable telling you". She says well, "I'm sure you've been examined before". I said "I'm not going to get in a pissing match with you - I told you I cannot do this and...." She cuts me off "Well you have to..." Finally I blurted out to her as I began to cry "I was raped, ok? Is that good enough for you? Will you STOP asking me to do something I cannot do?!" Then she walks out - slamming the door!
She comes back in "I told the Dr. what you told me" (GREAAAAAAAT thank you so very much bitch!) "and he says he would be committing malpractice if he doesn't examin you, so..." as she shoves the "gown" and "paper" at me "DAMMIT! I said NO!" I yelled - and ran out of the office. I went to the front desk where I registered. I was in full blown panic attack....couldn't breathe.....crying histerically.
I don't even remember what I said to the lady but she got her supervisor who took me to her office and she called my husband at work. When she heard me tell him what happened she brought another lady in who is bringing it to the attention to the board.
I was doing so good! I hadn't had a panic attack in MONTHS! I am angry at myself for telling that nurse why I couldn't be examined. Why can't I keep my big mouth shut?
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