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10 Bumps

What are the pros and cons about having these babies?

I just found out that Im pregnant with twins. Im not asking for your biased opionion. Im asking for advice so if you want to be mean and cruel don't even bother because you will just push my decision in the opposite direction. I am 7 weeks pregnant and yes I am considering abortion. I am a planner and this was NOT planned. I need to way out my pros and cons and make sure I am prepared to give these babies what they need. I refuse to carry these babies full term just to give them away to someone who might hurt them. I am 19 years old. My parents died in a car accident when I was 9. My grandmother took care of me until 3 months ago when she passed away from cancer. The guy I slept with is a jerk and hasn't returned a single phone call since we slept together. I took a year off from school to help take care of my Nana and now I dont know what to do. If I have these babies I won't be able to start school next fall.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Dec. 22, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • I'm not a pro-lifer but along with those pro's and con's about having also include how you would ultimately feel... and yes that's important too.
    I will also tell you this... somehow we always seem to pull it off and make it through.
    I did have an abortion at 21and if I were to talk to my former self I would've told her... believe it or not you CAN do it. And no I don't regret it b/c if I had had my baby I would've never had my children now... but it actually was not the right choice for ME at that time and I went through a LOT of pain and mourning after... it really tore me up.
    I also had an abortion at 28 ... that I do NOT regret and KNOW it was the right choice for ALLof us at the time...
    and later went on to have my 2 wonderful children on my own!!!

    so you have to REALLY look at yourself... not just can you make it... b/c chances are you prob. can although it WILL be hard... but can you emotionally handle it

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Instead of ask us ask yourself. What are the pros and cons. We cant tell what they are becasue you may see some of Our pros are cons for you. Just sit yourself down and think good and hard what is best for YOU and only YOU. Never mind what anyone else thinks.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:29 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I'm not judging you in any way,but if your community has a crisis pregnancy center, it would be a good thing for you to contact them. They won't judge you either, they will do what they can to help you, hence the name, crisis pregnancy. I sincerely hope the best for you, and for your babies.

    Answer by cbk_mom3 at 4:33 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • it sounds like your family is getting smaller === with your parents and gma gone... so this could be a family to you - but the con in that is that you have to be the leader of the family. and you have to ask if you are ready for that. it is a lot for anyone to handle one baby - let alone two as a single mom - without a support system. that is a hard place! i hope you find your answer.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 4:33 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I have twins who are now nearly 5 1/2 and they were "the result" of a sexual assualt that happened when I was 14. They were the complete opposite of planned of course. I so very nearly had an abortion...I had 2 appts and missed them both. BUt in the end I couldn;'t go through with it. There are times when i wonder what would have happened if I did, but every time i see them smile, and hear them laugh...I cant imagine life without them and thus i have no regrets.

    I've managed to bring them up with nothing to my name, but ive built a life for us. We've had a lot of bad luck over the past 6 years but we always bounce back.

    It is your choice what you decide to do...dont ever let anyone pressure you into any decision. You will find a way to cope with whatever you decide because that will be the right choice for you. Good luck with whatever you decide xxxx

    Answer by little.knickers at 5:22 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I don't see how giving them up for adoption would be giving them to people that would hurt them. You can choose parents and develop a relationship and find ones that would not hurt them, you could also find ones where they might be willing to keep you a part of their lives. Just kind of sounds like an excuse. Then you could make school work if you want to. I had a dear friends that took a week off of college when she gave birth, she made it work no matter what. It is really up to you. I would take them in a second!!

    Answer by Melbornj at 4:34 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Honestly, we can't tell you either way. Listen to your own mind and heart. Yes, keeping them would be hard, no doubt about that. But that doesn't mean it would be impossible, or that it wouldn't give you a lot of joy too. Giving them up for adoption would be another option, and yes, so would abortion. But even though I'm pro-choice, and I fully believe in a woman's right to choose, I also think choosing abortion is not a decision that should be made lightly, under any circumstances.

    Answer by Anouck at 4:37 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Regardless of what path you take it'll be hard on you. This may not have been planned, but you can no create a plan around the coming of your children. If that's what you choose to do. You can go back to school, you can work, you can take care of these children if you plan for that lifestyle. It's going to be hard, very exhausting, and taxing, but you can manage it if you choose to. If you choose to abort these babies, which I personally wouldn't suggest you do, then you need to prepare yourself for that. It is very hard emotionally to abort a child, even if it is a child that you didn't want. You could become a surrogate for a couple who cannot have children. Meaning you can personally pick the couple that would adopt your children. That's the only option that I would suggest if you're going to adopt them out, because the state adoption system is HORRIBLE. Whichever you do, it needs to be your choice alone.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:13 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Unfortunately in this case, you are the one that is going to have to decide. There are some people who have abortions and cannot live with themselves, but at the same time, there are people who give their babies up for adoption and mourn for them for years. You seem to have looked at the pros and cons already. Now look in your heart and your head. Sometimes, the best things are things that were not planned. You will need to make the final decision. You sound like you are an intelligent young woman. I wish you the best.

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 6:55 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I don't even know what to say. You are so young and sounds like you have no one. You will most likely have to get on some sort of public assistance unless you can luck out and find an okay paying job. Get the father on child support and that is all you can do. I would personally never abort but I have never been in this exact situation. I was once pregnant by twins by some jerk but miscarried anyway. I was 24 though and already finished with college with a good job. 2 years later I had my son. You have to do what is best for you.

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 4:43 PM on Dec. 22, 2010