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How do I get my daughter to do what she is told? I told her to vacuum the living room and she out right refuses to listen. I have her a dr. pepper if she listens, now I think I'm gonna wait a day before she gets one for making me tell her again.


Asked by MarGeee at 4:59 PM on Dec. 22, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 20 (9,059 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • 16 yr old use to be responsible for washing dishes, however dishes pretty much need washed every night. His schedule simply is too busy for this with academic decathalon, drama, and wrestling practices he barely has time to eat with us let alone wash dishes. So I wash the dishes and told my son that since I now do his chore he will sweep and mop the kitchen floors. Its a very simple give and take. My younger son is responsible for vacuuming. If he doesn't want to vacuum, he has the option to do another chore (dishes for example) or laundry. It works well for us, so well in fact my 16 yr old informed me last night he's cleaning the entire house today before Christmas because he knows I don't have time this week to do my part. This proves to me that it works because he's willing to pitch in for me when he see's I can't because I've done it for him many times. My method is different but it works for us.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:14 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I read this really good book called "Get out of my life, but drop me and Cheryl at the Mall first" It is all about how teenagers act and ways to talk with them and help them. I have the same problem with my son and I have just started telling him these are his jobs and he needs to do them. If he doesn't get them done then he can't play on the XBOX or go to his friends house until they are done.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 5:01 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • dr peper?

    IF this is a constant thing with her then.... she does what she is told or she gets nothing... no dinner, no rides, no computer time, no cell phone usage, no tv... NOTHING.

    If this is just a random occurance then cut her some slack... we all get in bad moods and/or stressed and/or burnt out... I know my kids had SO many tests right before break that all they want to do is sleep.


    Answer by sahlady at 5:10 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • You cannot withhold food, that is neglect and she will tell someone out of anger. But, when she doesn't listen, take away everything but her bed and clothes. She then has to earn her belongings back item by item by doing what she is told, when she is told.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:46 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • I read a good book called "7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway" Kind of similar to the book cornflake mentioned - talks about how teenagers think and how to deal with various situations. As kids get older they want to start making their own choices, they want to have independence, they want to feel as though they are in control but at the same time still need guidance, boundaries and rules. I use the three rules in the book; Be Safe, Show Respect, Stay in Touch. I've taken a much different approach to chores and cleaning. We negiotate the chores and times, we all live in the same house and we are all busy, but we are responsible for keeping our home clean and comfortable. Essentially the way it works is they commit to a chore or I assign one and they commit to a time for completion (usually the same day). Cont...with examples...

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:09 AM on Dec. 23, 2010