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3 Bumps

My daughter is being picked on by her cousin!

My daughter has a cousin her age, they're even in the same kindergarden class. Her cousin makes fun of her, hits her and tried to push her down the stairs TWICE! I've spoken to my sister in law about this and she doesn't seem to try and correct her daughters behavior. What else can I do?!

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Asked by bella.vazquez24 at 5:01 PM on Dec. 22, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • What steps is the school during while this is happening.. that's sad that your sil is doing nothing about this too.. so sorry.. do they play well together out of school?

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:03 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • My son had the same problem with my sister's oldest child. Her child is 2 years older and was always bullying my son. I tried to keep them apart as much as possible, but we are a close family and it didn't work very well. Finally 2 years ago I saw my nephew beat up a neighbor child and my child was the witness to the event. What did my sister do? She blew it off and lied to the child's mother about what happened. The mom didn't see it or she would have called the police. I told my sister that if it was my child I would have called the police and her child would have spent time in juvenile detention.

    Now we do not hang around that sister at all. If we do see her at a family event I make sure my son is with me the whole time. He does not hang around that cousin anymore. He wants to because that cousin is the height of cool and my son has always looked up to him, but I keep him away from him now.


    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:14 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • cont...

    just another note. My son was 9 and my nephew was11 when this happened. And it only happened because I kept listening to my sister that it wasn't a big deal. Not true. It is a huge deal. And I have learned my lesson.

    In your case I would ask the teacher to be mindful of the bullying and to try to keep them away from each other. Also I would not visit with that family member anymore. And if you have to, then bring something for your child to do right next to you, so your child is not alone with the bully again.

    As soon as we stopped seeing the bully cousin, my son gained a whole new self confidence.

    Good can PM me if you would like.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:18 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • my niece used to pick on my nephew all the time. She would bite him, beat on him all the time. My niece is an only child and her parents have always thought she has done no worng. They wouldnt do anything about her. 1 time that kid pushed my kid (mine is 2 yrs older) I told her to go lay her ass out! ha...they didnt like that., I dont care though. The kid is mean. My sister cant take her kids anywhere near that girl anymore, because they wont do anything. I would call the school and get 1 of them moved from the class. Its unfair bc it will probably be your child. I would never allow them to be in the same class again.

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 5:38 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Skip your sister in law next time and let the school handle it. We just went through this with a very close friend's child. She has always been a bully and I was worried about them going to the same school this year. My fears quickly came to life and the other child was being absolutely horrid to mine at recess. The first thing I did was to observe a recess to make sure my child was giving me the full story and I'll tell you what, it was bad enough that I couldn't even just clue the teachers in quietly the way I had planned. I had to go directly out there and call there attention to it ASAP. :( Anyhow, I gave mom a call myself because that's what I figured a friend should do. It continued though and the mom just was not backing up anything at home. I let the school handle it without me, just like they would if it were anyone else's kid. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • My daughter has always been social and happy, her cousin was always been quiet. So at family gatherings my daughter Hevyn is always the center of attention. Last year in prek hevyn always got awards for being smart, she knew her abcs, colors, shapes, wrote her name, months of the year... And so on. I believe her cousin is jealous of her. But hevyn loves to be social, to learn new things.... I can't change who she is and I can't change how the family treats her. The tiny bully has already been to the office for hitting other kids, my fear is that if someone doesn't stop her behavior, she will get worse with time.

    Comment by bella.vazquez24 (original poster) at 5:43 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • The school was supposed to separate them this year, but somehow they ended up in the same class again. I spoke to their teacher the first day of school and told her the situation. So they sit at different tables. My biggest fear is that she will push my daughter off the playground ... Seeing as how she tried pushing her down the stairs (2 story house stairs). This little girl hates my daughter!!

    Comment by bella.vazquez24 (original poster) at 5:51 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • Where is your brother? (Im assuming your SIL is his wife, right?) Have you said anything to him about this? This is absolutely unacceptable. You need to sit down with your brother and his wife and let them know what is going on and let them know you will not allow the behavior to continue so they need to control their child! Stand up for your kid, girl! Do not allow her to be bullied, esp. not by her own damn cousin! If you see her teasing your child and her parents do not say anything, then go up to the girl and tell her to keep her thoughts and her hands to herself if she doesnt have anything nice to say or do! I would never allow something like this to happen, and I do not mean to sound rude and definitely not trying to offend or put you down in anyway. Its just so sad that her own parents will not take action. Talk to her parents like I said. Have them and you & your DH sit down and discuss whats going on and discuss

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • con-
    discuss how you guys can avoid conflict from that point forward. Let them know there is no way you will allow this behavior to continue and make it clear you expect them to get their child under control!! GL to you mama, and stay strong!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

  • id talk to the father

    Answer by bseastrand at 11:48 PM on Dec. 22, 2010

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