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My Mom Died

My Mom just died unexpectedly, and I believe it was a medical error. I have filed a complaint with the hospital, which helped channel my anger out of my body onto paper. But how do you deal with the loss of a mom? I cannot believe I will never see her again or give her a big hug. How do you mourn? Will only time help? I guess you never get over it. I am making a memory box with things that remind me of her, etc. It helps me feel as if I have a part of her here, still. I have to be strong for my kids, but I am a mess on the inside. I just watched home video of her from this spring, and it made me feel as if she were still alive. Denial, I know... Even after seeing her dead, having the funeral and putting her in the ground... I guess my love for her is so big that I just cannot accept she is really gone........I miss her so....

 
MomAgainAgain

Asked by MomAgainAgain at 6:05 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • My Mom and Dad both died (one unexpected one cancer) 16 years ago and I still think of them and I am lucky enough to visit with them in dream and hug my Mom, tell her I love her and how much I miss her and talk about my kids etc. It takes a long time for the pain to stop hurting so bad you find it hard to breathe but you will make it thru. Just don't be afraid to ask for support when you need it. The holidays are very very hard, but try your best to remind yourself that your Mom would want you to enjoy them, to learn from her death that life is so very precious and to hug more often, say I love you and I'm sorry more often. I am so very sorry you're going thru this. It does get easier and please allow yourself to cry and to let it it out.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:41 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Losing a parent is NOT easy....and not something you will ever "get over." In time, things feel better and get easier, but I don't believe the pain ever truly goes away. I lost my father just over a year ago, and it is still very hard. Please check out my group for ladies who have lost a parent: www.cafemom.com/lovedoneslost.
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 6:08 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Also, feel free to message me any time you would like to talk or need some advice or anything!! I know exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through (HONESTLY!).
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 6:09 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I am SO sorry.... You just have to take it one day at a time. Don't forget, it's OK to miss her and mourn for her. You don't have to accept she is gone. My friend Aaron died when a drunk driver hit his car. I don't think of him as being dead, he's just really far away from me.... The memory box is a wonderful idea. If you're lucky enough you'll dream of her and get to hug her again. I dream of Aaron all the time and I still get to hug him and talk to him and tell him I love him. *hugz* If you need a friend I'm here for you. ♥
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 6:11 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I STILL HAVE MY MOTHER BUT I KNOW THE PAIN OF LOOSING A PARENT, I LOST MY DAD UNEXPECTEDLY AND IT HAS BEEN 23 YEARS AND NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM. THE DIFFERENCE NOW WHEN I DO THINK ABOUT HIM, IT BRINGS A SMILE TO MY FACE INSTEAD OF A TEAR, BECAUSE I CAN BRING HIM BACK AT LEAST IN MY MEMORIES. "HUGS"
    older

    Answer by older at 6:33 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • My Mom died unexpectedly this March. I still cry. I watched her die. Did the funeral, picked up the Urn, spent 2 months at my dad's house to help him adjust and learn how to do all the things that Mom used to take care of. Now the holidays are coming and it feels like she died only yesterday. Time does help but you will have days and moments that seem more sad than others. If your grief is effecting your home life or job, I suggest you seek grief counseling, as they REALLY help you put it into words and express your grief and help you learn to move forward with life. I'm REALLY sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 7:25 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Thanks, everybody. I really appreciate all your kind words. I have had a tough day today. Thought about her a lot. I miss her so much.
    MomAgainAgain

    Answer by MomAgainAgain at 8:21 PM on Nov. 9, 2008