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how can i help my friend??

a frinend of mine told me that her boyfriend has sex with her while she is sleeping(she is medicated at night because she is disabled) so she says she feels nothing. i dont know what to tell her its creepy and i care about her, i just dont know what to do or say.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • That is creepy and just plain wrong. She needs to tell her bf to stop and she needs to stop sleeping with him.
    ndphotomom

    Answer by ndphotomom at 6:35 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • yeah thats just crazy and nasty. she should just tell him to stop or just stop messing with him.
    secondbaby1686

    Answer by secondbaby1686 at 6:46 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • That guy has a problem and if your friend dosnt like it even if asleep I think it is still violating her against her consent. They DO made modern day chastity belts. He cant have sex with her if he cant get to "it" now can he?
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 6:47 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • That's rape, WTF?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • That is flat out wrong. You have to tell her that and convince her that she can't tolerate being violated like that!
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 7:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • What's the situation, how is she diabled only at night? It's wrong of course but I was just wondering whats going on
    AshJoe05

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 7:12 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • That is creepy and I think RAPE as well. He should respect her more than to do that to her while she is sleeping and cant wake up. I mean whose to say he hasnt let others take advantage of her!!! I would not let him sleep over anymore or not take the pills when he does. That is not right at all.
    hoffmanjam

    Answer by hoffmanjam at 7:30 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I find it creepy too... I have a friend who's husband does that to her (also medicated at night and I think she said he's done it to her after she passing out from seizures). It's wrong, it's rape any way you look at it. I'm for that modern chasity belt if it creeps her out as much as it would me. On the other hand..... I've woken up and knew something had been done to me and had zero memory of it and asked my hubby and he said yea, we did and I said, no you did it TO me while I was asleep, he said that I was very active during the act, even more than normal for us, so I guess I thought I was dreaming. I'm wondering if these medicated people are thinking they're dreaming or something? It still creeps me out tho that they can't tell the difference in us (if that's the case with the others)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • My ex tried that while I was drunk once. I found out I could still fight though!

    I agree with the others...it's rape. You have to be awake and coherent in order to give consent for sex or anything else, and if you weren't awake, it was done against your will.

    Encourage her to report him to the cops and get out.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 8:35 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • There is no question about it...its called RAPE. She told you about it so she must have some concerns that it isn't right. I would revisit it with her, gently. and let her know that you are worried and concerned for her safety. You can even call your local sexual assault center, many times they have literature that specifically gives examples of what rape looks like. And what you described is rape. Sleeping or not a violent crime happend to her. Since we don't know her, its possible she is desensitized to the situation. Especially if she is in an abusive relationship, has been in abusive relationships, or ever been a victim of rape or incest. Being there, listening, support her in her choices, but also provide her with information. And if she wants - go with her to a sexual assault center or to your local law enforcement office to make a report.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:39 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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