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Am I wrong for feeling this way?

When I needed to find childcare for my son, I started calling the home day cares in my area and I realized a lot of them did not speak proper/fluent English and it made me extremely uncomfortable. Now I am white, but my son is bi-racial, and I have plenty of friends who are different ethnicities so it's not like I'm prejudice, but for some reason I was more comfortable leaving my son with the white, upper middle-class, English-only speaking woman who he has now been with for over a year. I guess maybe it is just because I know he will be cared for in a similar environment and in the same manor I am raising him. Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with someone different than me caring for my child?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • No I don't think its wrong. I would probably feel the same way. I am not racist or anything but yes it is true that some races and cultures raise their kids a little differently. I would want someone as close to myself as possible to be taking care of my child. When choosing a caregiver, you have to go with whomever makes you and your child the most comfortable. If someone could barely speak english, I would be concerned that my child's needs might not be understood properly or that I would have a hard time communicating with that person. That is a totally valid reason for not choosing that person.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:23 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • No you are being a mommy

    Answer by ready4baby2011 at 1:18 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Not at all. Go with who you are comfortable with and who your child is going to be comfortable with. You won't worry as much while you away :)

    Answer by amber1330 at 1:21 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Not at all, but I do have to tell you that IMO if you are referring to the Mexican population, you will truly NEVER find a better babysitter or for that matter a better mother than a Mexican woman. Working in retail, I can't tell you the times we had families come in and I am talking about purple people as well, who will buy expensive shoes for themselves and leave the poor child with nothing... BUT truly, I never saw a Mexican person do that with their children. The children ALWAYS come first. Even when I was working in the churches, a Mexican family will spend money on a family portrait and go without clothing. That's how family oriented they are.

    So, I can tell you to do what you are comfortable with, but don't judge....

    Answer by m-avi at 1:25 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Not at all. It's part of being a mom. :)

    Answer by jillrebecca3 at 1:52 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I am white and my son, who is also white, is in an all African American daycare. All the care providers are African American and so are the children. He hasn't gotten injured once since he started going there; however, his last two daycares, run by white women, he got injured all the time. It really isn't the race that you should worry about, it is the feeling you get when you meet them and how your child reacts to them that matters.

    I had to fight my fiance's and my side of the family because they didn't think it was right, but it was my decision and I'm glad I made the one I did.

    Honestly, all that matters is that you are comfortable with who you are leaving your child with. You are paying for it. You are having to deal with the child that is going to result from the care provided. You are the last word on it all because a lot of times a mother's intuition is right because you know you and you know your child best.

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 2:41 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Some were Mexican but most were Filipino.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:30 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • you are being a mother!! i mean seriously think about this for a second,you have a child who you want/need to put in daycare/ want you child to be in the best hands possible right? go with your gut instinct!! if your child is happier at an all white daycare,thats fine...if he is happier at an african american daycare,thats background checks on the daycares,dont judge them just because they are black/white/mexican/ has to do with how well they do their jobs,how the child reacts to them as well as the other children,how clean it is,how nice they are,if they have what it takes to take care of your child.....just go with your gut mama....

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 2:38 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I agree with m-avi. Mexican people are SO family oriented it is awesome.

    Answer by CalebsMommy0220 at 11:46 PM on Dec. 23, 2010