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My DH works nights....and I am so lonely after the kidlets are in bed...yet when he is here on his days off I feel as though I still have no one to talk to.

He has never been a very talkative person unless it is something he is interested in, but I feel as though he is bored with me or finds me dull. I am an intellectual person and enjoy conversation and since he is gone all week during the nights and sleeps all day I want him to chat with me a bit. Is this too much to ask? I am not saying I want to have an indepth discussion for hours on end, just someone to talk to! He talks to his friends online playing video games, but even that is kind of a pointless exchange of words.

*Maybe all the video games have made him forget how to talk? LOL...just kidding...not nice...I know...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • ????
    IDK ??

    Maybe, play games with him ?
    Interact with him ?


    TRY to ?

    Let me know, if you need a friend ???

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:10 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • nope not too much to ask. I used to work graveyard shift, I would be home by 9am, sometimes 8, have breakfast with everyone, get my son ready for the day, play a bit, and be passed out by 11am. Then I would wake back up around 5-6p and do the same thing, except it was dinner time. Then I would relax with my family a bit, enjoy them, afterall that's the reason I chose to work, and then I would be getting ready by 10pm again, out the door at 11pm, work by midnight.

    So basically what I am trying to say is if he wants to talk to you he will because it is possible, and I am sure you know that.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:13 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Nope, I get it. My Dh does the same thing. He pretty much ignores me and I do get lonely as well. He is gone most of the week. I will call him on the phone, he is busy. I will try and talk to him in the car. He needs to focus.I try and talk to him here at home...its dull and boring...but OMG let one of his buddies call and I never knew so much vocabulary could come out of his mouth. I have pretty much given up on trying to talk. I guess we are in a rut or bored. I dunno, but this is your question...its not about me, but I completely understand how you feel. I don't know why men are the way they are. (((HUGS)))))


    Answer by tracylyn245 at 2:29 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • It must just be men in general. Tonight mine could not stop talking, and I just wanted quiet.

    Answer by sta517 at 2:34 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Hugs. I work rotating shifts. It is a big challenge to adjust and find the time to spend with each other when this shift is a part of your lives. It sounds like you need some more women friends and a little more fun in your life. I know I used to expect my man to fill in for the closeness I missed from my girlfriends. Maybe start a young moms' play group or something similar. If your husbands' gaming bothers you make sure to address it with him. ( niceley :-) ). I can tell you from my own experience that it can bee a challenge to work graveyard. Make sure to thank him for his sacrifice supporting your family. Life will keep changing and hopefully soon he might get a shift that will make it easier for you both.

    Answer by LeJane at 2:44 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • A lot of this is just men, he could be really tired, or even waiting for you to start the conversation.

    Answer by CAPONES at 2:48 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I work 11pm to 9am and my husband complains about the same thing were just tired and being busy all 4 days i just want piece and quiet :) but maybe set up a date night thats how we have we have a date night on saturday and there is no kids just us sometimes we go out sometimes we stay home cuddle talk or just watch movies :) bare with us !!

    Answer by premiemom18 at 3:51 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • hi..i think you have to understand that your hubby needs to work and i'm sure you know that it's for the family,you have to understand and accept the fact that he had to..i think you have also to embrace what are the differences of you and your hubby,..try to understand and i think your really inteligent to adjust in those things...just as long as you love him there will be no time of boring days for you with or without him...

    Answer by neng999 at 4:03 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Omg i could have written this! my dh works 11pm-8am and then sleeps 10-12hrs durring the day he has to stay on his 'schedule' on the weekends so he spends ALL night on his xbox playing fable... i swear he loves the wife on that game more than me, ive even threatened to paint buttons on myself lol, this has been the way things have gone for 2 1/2 years... i deal with it by leaving him emails when i want to talk to him about something mondaine/ miss him i honestly dont think he has read one of them since i started but it helps me just to get it off my chest. and a few great friends always helps too!

    Answer by thesouthernmom at 4:07 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Communicate your feelings to him. Let him know how lonely you are. It's definitely not too much to ask. If he is playing videa games when he's awake, ask him nicely to turn them off so you can spend time together or make arrangements to spend time alone with each other. Get a baysitter for your kids if need be, plan lunch together, whatever you can do to have time alone with him. If this doesn't work, it's time to get serious and sit him down for a real assessment of your marriage and where it's headed.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:35 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

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