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8 Bumps

I know I'm gonna get bashed for this but......

I just found out I am having my 4th boy. I had to beg Dh to have another baby and he would NEVER agree to another. I can't seem to come to terms with never having a daughter. I feel like the most horrible person in the world. I just wanna cry every time I think about this baby being ANOTHER boy. I love my boys more than anything but I have never been able to shake that longing to have a girl. I am a girly girl. I feel like part of my heart is always gonna feel empty. Has anyone else felt like this? How can I deal with these feelings?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (19)
  • Don't feel bad. I told my fiance that I was going to cry if I was told I was going to have a girl. I am not girly at all, so I was terrified I was going to have to teach a little girl how to do her hair or something. I think it is pretty normal to have a preference.

    Just remember that you are going to love him to pieces when he gets here. You won't care that he isn't a girl.
    TitusMom7

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 2:55 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I think most mothers can sympathize with your dilema. I always wanted a girl and my first was a boy, now I have two girls.
    Your dh may not want any other children but look at it this way, you are going to have four boys which means they will choose four daughters for you, and you dont have to change the diapers!!
    weirdjojo

    Answer by weirdjojo at 2:57 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • See I know I will love him and that part I am not worried about at all. I am worried that I will never feel okay again. I have wanted every one of my kids to be a girl and every time I couldn't wait to "try again" because I want a daughter so badly. The part I'm worried about isn't not loving my son it's getting over the dream for a daughter....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:57 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Thanks weirddjojo, I guess I am feeling to bitter for this post because nothing is comforting. =( DIL's aren't the same.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:58 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Why didn't you adopt of foster a little girl lol I know when i was prego i prego I prayed I didn't have a girl. I hate girls lol
    Jazmineamomma

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 3:00 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I guess I always told myself I'd keep trying til I had a girl. Stupid I know. And fostering is not something I could do. Become attached then have to give the child up. I am way to emotional for that.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:05 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Adopt a child, not foster. They are 2 different things. If you adopt the child is yours. If you foster the child technically belongs to the state and you get paid until they find a permanent home. I would adopt totally!!!! Otherwise you are going to be pushing your sons to get married and what if they all have boys too? I understand completely. I wanted a girl the fist time and got a boy and I thought it wouldn't be the same but I loved him like crazy. Then the second time around I was scared that I ouldn't get a girl but I did and now I'm even. It's not that I never wanted a boy, it's that I was afraid of never having a girl.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:20 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I always automatically look at Life like:
    because you want it sooo bad, you will get the opposite. Because it would be too easy to hand your dreams on a silver platter~

    We have to work through many hurdles in Life... This is one of many. You will have the babies you need to birth and Mother and nurture for some Greater Reason~
    And with this experience, you will work through your challenges and learn lessons you "needed to learn" and accomplish things you "needed to accomplish."
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 3:25 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Well, maybe down the line there will be an accident and you'll get your little girl. Life works things out sometimes in the funniest ways. I have an author I love who writes the BEST female chracters, when you read the author blurb on her website it mentions how she's teh 8th in a family of 13 daughters, her dad must of really wanted that boy! But I know a fmaily who is similar to you, she has 6 boys. 6! NO girls.
    When I found out my son was a boy not a girl I wanted nothing more than a second daughter. I knew how to deal with that. Matching dresses. The whole nine yards. We then assssed that my health was not going to permit another pregnancy even before my son was a boy and I decided to be okay with either. I love my son. i cannot imagine my life without this sweet little boy. But I understand too. Kind of.
    If you enver get hat girl remember how much you want it now and when you get your first granddaughter, SPOIL her to bit
    JadeRDragosani

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 5:25 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • You may not have a girl now, but you may have four grandaughters in the future ;~)

    How happy would that make you?

    I cannot have any more kids, so all i think about lately is DD growing up & having babies. I get so excited about having grand kids one day!

    My friend ended up having 4 daughter & always tried for boys. She was bummed that they never had any boys, but they now have 2 grandson's and are so totally stoked about it!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:14 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

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