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4 Bumps

If you dated your husband for more than 5years before marrying him, why did you wait so long?

I am curious why other women wait.

I feel too young to get legally married. I have been with my SO for 4 years, on the 1st of January. My mom calls him my husband, co-workers call me his wife, everyone just assumes that we're married. I just don't want to make that final commitment with him yet.

I am 19 he is 23, he doesn't care to get married right now either, it's just not on our radar. But I can't figure out why I am so indifferent about marriage. It's just something I keep putting off whenever we consider it.


Hoping to use some of the other women's hindsight, maybe I am missing something, all though I feel good in my relationship, maybe I just need some more age/experience? idk

 
DomoniqueWS

Asked by DomoniqueWS at 3:08 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • If you don't want to get married, why should you? My fiance and I did everything backwards...first we had our son (7 months after meeting), then bought a house, THEN got engaged. We have been engaged for 2 years now. I am in no hurry either. To me, it is just a contract...I don't need a contract to prove I love him. I'm still here aren't I?
    TitusMom7

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 12:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • i been in a relationship for 5 years in january and im not married and did want to be married but now i dont want to and think its better to not to be. if your happy not married stay happy :)
    premiemom18

    Answer by premiemom18 at 3:44 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Bump!
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:12 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • No wisdom to offer. We were together two before getting married. We'd intended to wait for him to go onto further job corps training which would've been another three years but we had some other things going on that led us to get married sooner and him not go on to that schooling. I'll give you a bump though.
    JadeRDragosani

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 3:17 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • My SO & I have been together for 4yrs 2mos. We've known each other for 40 years. Although we were each other's 1st crush & kiss back in 6th grade, life went in diff directions for us. We stumbled into each other 6 yrs ago after bitter divorces. It took us (him) 2yrs to realize we were brought back together for a good reason. We are extremely happy & will eventually get married because that's just how we believe it should be. But, he works 225 miles from our house & I have twin boys whou will graduate next May. Once the boys get settled into college, SO & I will finally begin to meld our two households together & plan a wedding. He does come home on weekends & holidays. But, he doesn't want to start our marriage out by being 225 miles apart the majority of the time. We know that we are soulmates & were meant to be. And, the actual "marriage on paper" will happen when we can focus on just us.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 6:42 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • If you keep putting it off, then don't marry the guy. People should only get married if that's what they want %100. No If's, and's or butt's. You can call him your DH, i called mine my DH before we married because i could not stand calling him my boyfriend.

    Marriage is for people who super duper want it & are totally psyched about it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:09 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I dated my husband for 8 years; we had a major break-up at one point in the relationship, but then we got together and lived with each other. I didn't want to get married because I witnessed my parents' terrible marriage. My father was alcoholic and abusive. I started dating my husband at 17/18, but we didn't get married until I was about 25. I wanted no marriage; he wanted to get married. We compromised. Because I wanted children and in this world it makes it easier to have the same last names and other legalities, I agreed to a very small wedding to make our relationship legal. I've been married 31 years now and I've raised 4 grown children. I feel the same about marriage as I always did. You and your boyfriend are wise in waiting; you'll know when you're ready to commit. As long as you're living the way you want to, it's no one else's business. Make that clear to people and ignore what they want to call you.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 7:29 AM on Dec. 23, 2010