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what kind of punishment do you give..?

to your kids when they argue my daughters argue rarely but when they do argue its non stop and it goes to the extreme today while i left them here with my 17 year old niece she called me like 4 times telling me the girls were out of control and they wouldn't stop fighting,when i got back my youngest(6)is screaming from the top of her lungs throwing shoes at her sister 8
they were bickering and i was already in so much pain and i was frustrated soo i said SHUT THE HELL UP AND BOTH OF U GET IN THE CORNER I DON'T WANNA HERE ANOTHER WORD!well when they got out of the corner they went right back at
whats ur punishments??

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LABELmeCUTE

Asked by LABELmeCUTE at 3:19 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,951 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I do time-outs for nearly 3 dd. She is in that stage right now of not wanting to share. Other than that she's ok. It works because I don't overuse it. I don't do it until I've warned her a couple of times. Most of the time she corrects herself before time-out. Newly 6 ds had a stage of being defiant that lasted a good 3 years. He finally got out of it. Kindergarden helped I believe. I very rarely have to punish ds. I'm really proud and shocked at the same time because he really was something there for 3 years lol. Just keep doing whatever you feel is best for them and maybe they'll outgrow it. Though I don't suggest yelling. Your girls are old enough to have privelages taken away. Take away the video games, computer, tv or whatever they enjoy most. Take them away one by one each time they act out.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:27 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Start taking away privileges. Things like tv, video games and such. My uncle went so far as to take everything including the bed out of his sons room because he wouldn't listen (he got really bad). If you have to there's nothing wrong with locking up the toys for a while.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 4:26 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • When my kids were younger and they would start fighting over any and everything, I would make them stand and either hold hands or hug each other until they could say __ many nice things about the other one - things that they loved or liked about the other one. (Sometimes it was 3, sometimes it was 5, sometimes, if they had already been fighting and did this, and were still going at it, I would go as many as 10.)

    It couldn't be things like "I love when you leave me alone." Things like "I like your jokes" or "I love when you play __ with me" were good.

    This seemed to work, because 1) they were reminded that the other one wasn't such a pain / they didn't really hate each other after all, and 2) they probably thought "mom is nuts and has gone off the deep end, maybe we should stop pushing her..."
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:54 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Start taking away privileges if they have to have everything taken then so be it. They will see sooner or later that you are serious, They are also sisters and they 6 and 8 they will fight and some days will be worst then others control it as soon as it starts. You did the right thing momma. Keep it up.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:54 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Each of them has a "currency" which is THE most important thing to them. We used to take that away for an appropriate length of time as punishment. It won't necessarily be a toy. My youngest used to LOVE watching the trash truck. So, occasionally we would say he would not be allowed to watch it. Zero in on what makes them tick. Be Consistent!! Don't threaten something unless you really will do it. Like saying "you will never watch TV again". That is unrealistic and not something you can follow through on.

    One other idea....my niece has a kindness chart in her home. The kids have to do the things on the chart and they get points or stickers for doing them. After a week or so they get a day out to the park, go out for ice cream, have a special meal, go to a museum, etc. It has worked wonders for them.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:51 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Also, I saw on Supernanny that she had the whole family play board games and do it with teams. Alternate the teams so the girls are team mates once in awhile. This will foster cooperation.

    Lastly, make sure they get enough one on one time with you and your SO. Plus praise when they do things right. This, along with positive reinforcement, goes a long way to making them feel special and lessen tensions. GL!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:52 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • In the short term, I take away privileges and separate them. Long term solution do cooperation building and lots of discussion

    cedailey

    Answer by cedailey at 11:05 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I guess I am the odd mommy out I do swat my kids on the rear but only if what they are doing will hurt another or themselves, other times its fingertips and tippietoes in the corner for 2 minutes
    mamabeard3

    Answer by mamabeard3 at 12:39 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • but i don't go all mommy dearest on them and i explain to them why they're in trouble and i don't spank out of anger.
    mamabeard3

    Answer by mamabeard3 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • i separate my kids and make them do chores...my 5 yr old will clean their room while my 6 yr old dusts or vaccums...gets their "extra" energy out and gives me a break from all the constant bickering....and gets some stuff done around the house...
    Lovelylis

    Answer by Lovelylis at 2:00 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

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