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Does your adult kid still want everything for Christmas? Mine does!

She's hardly getting anything this year & naturally she is not getting me anything cuz she does not work. I am not going to keep spoiling her, she's 20!


Asked by NicolesMommy at 3:31 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 22 (12,504 Credits)
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Answers (17)
  • Good for you!! 20 is way to old to claim entitlement... save that for the toddlers.
    If she doesn't have a job, she should be grateful that you are still providing for her. THAT alone should be more than enough of a Christmas gift.

    I ask my parents not to get me anything. I like when they get my children things instead. They usually do anyway, but I really would not feel like I was neglected, or that they don't love me or whatever if I didn't get anything but a nice note or card.

    Answer by squish at 4:26 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • You know, maybe it's because I just spent the day at an orphanage helping my dh's Command hand out presents to little kids that were thrilled to get something as simple as a box with a pair of gloves, a stocking cap, and a toy (or, for the older kids, a new pair of tennis shoes) - and knowing that these are very likely the only gifts they are going to get for the year, I have to say, I don't have a lot of sympathy for your dd. (We're stationed in Northern Japan, and yes, they still do the "traditional" orphanage sort of thing.)

    She is a grown woman with a mother who loves her, and I assume that she has a roof over her head and food in her stomach - she should learn to appreciate whatever you CHOOSE to give her (you don't HAVE to give her anything) - and I think GOOD FOR YOU that you aren't indulging her anymore!

    (btw - I have 2 teens, they get gifts now, but as adults, it will not be to this scale.)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:42 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • We always get something for the whole family for Christmas. It is not age related. But not big gifts because we know no-one is rich. And giving gifts is not about how expensive they are. It is about I think about you:)

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 6:25 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Mine are really good and when asked what they want, they will say nothing, I inquire and get them what they wish for and more, they deserve everything they get from me. They are 33, 32, and 23, they make me proud everyday of my life.

    Answer by older at 11:08 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I'm a young adult and I don't ask my parebts for anything all year long but to respect me and they can't even do that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • My MIL always spoils her sons on Christmas. They don't have any expectations at all though, they always tell her to not get them anything. (They're both about 40) But, she can't help it...she loves her boys & loves getting them things. I think it's cute. BUT, it's not OK to expect gifts. She is an adult & should know better...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:58 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • We usually do about a $150-200 /per child limit. Some gifts & some cash. They usually know not to ask for something huge. They just pool their Christmas $ together to get the bigger things they want.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:14 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I needed to add something: I understand not wanting to spoil your child. But your child is still your child no matter how old she is. Since she's not working, maybe a gift card so she can clothes shop. We can still appreciate each other without denying our children & loved ones the joy of receiving a token of our appreciation at Christmastime.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:19 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I still spoil my 2 adult kids. I have them make out a list of things they need or want for Christmas, and i usually get alot of whats on the list. And i get alot for the grandkids as well. I am going to do this as long as i can, because i know that one day, i will be unemployed or retired and not be able to buy them much for Christmas then.

    Answer by Honda309 at 7:20 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Sometimes I wish that my mom wouldn't buy me anything because she puts no thought into it. She just finds a good deal on something and buys it. I know it it the thought that counts but it is usually something that just sits in my closet or goes on freecycle. On the other hand she pretty much demands that we buy her a present for both Christmas or a birthday and if we don't (dh and I don't always have the money to do so) we hear about it until the next holiday when we can afford it. My inlaws on the other hand insist that you tell them at least one item that you want/need so that they can buy it. One year I had three things that I would really liked to have, my inlaws got them all for me. My inlaws usually insist that we do not buy them anything, they understand money is tight, but their attitude makes us want to buy them something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Dec. 23, 2010