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Soulmate?

Some undriveable force wont let me stop thinking about my ex...We dated on and off in high school went our own ways he married...I married..had kids....But we have kept in touch...I want to talk to him and see him this is all I keep thinking.. I get so upset when he talks about other girls. U know the routine delete the social networking accounts, remove the numbers, etc I did all that but he looked me up about 2 months ago and told me to call him....He told me he was getting married but that he wanted to see me first.. The marriage was off and he caught her in lies and who did he call.. MMEEE...Drunk as hell called me....The only time he calls me is when he is drunk (which was why we never became more than what we were). He doesnt answer when I call unless he as at work. Feeling played....what would you do? We joked about marrige and both agreed that we would get married to each other...He even started talking about hving another baby ... soo confusedd.

Thanks...I just got the most overwhelming feeling of sadness that even brought tears to my eyes and then a sense of peace.  My marriage is shambles..On the brink of divorce and he says he wont let it on the other hand I am done.. I seem to be the magnet for losers.  We have been married 11 years with 4 kids but I have NO trust with him.  I told him a few nights ago that I wanted to cheat with someone...I never have but I am so bent up with sexual frustrations I need a release but i don't desire it here..He violated me and I can't be intimate wiht him anymore. Though the timing coincides they are not related in any way...divorce and desire.

 

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dreamingmind

Asked by dreamingmind at 5:30 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (254 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • What's happened with your marriage? If he calls you when he is drunk or at work it means he has someone in his life. You are the nice image of a high school girl who he can use to escape from the everyday's trouble. But you are not more and never will be. Because if you would you would be married already. Go and find the guy who really wants you. He keeps blackmailing you with his thoughts and feelings. This is a trap. Rescue yourself.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 5:54 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Sounds like he's not going to be good for you. The fact that you already feel played doesn't sound like it bodes well for any future potential. And I'd be leary of anyone who's getting married until he talks to you. What if he did the same to you, until he finds some other girl he wants one more try with. Sounds like he may have a drinking problem too, or only want you when he's drunk. I know I wouldn't want my kids around a guy like that, would you? Also, are you still married? If so, is a guy who only wants you when it suits him worth destorying your marriage and family over?
    It may be an undriveable force, but you may also be feeding it a little. I'd say, it's time to get dirty and tell him if he can't respect you enough to talk to you when you need to talk also and call when he's sober instead of all liquored up then it's time for him to get the hell on the road you don't need it nor do your kids!
    JadeRDragosani

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 5:55 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Thanks for the answers...I had just finished deleting him..
    dreamingmind

    Comment by dreamingmind (original poster) at 6:09 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • i would say no, he's not your soul mate.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:49 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Girl -- your hair is on fire..... RUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
    This guy is playing you like a old Victrola - every now and then and only when it's most convenient for his entertainment.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 7:46 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Don't talk to him ever again. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. Then, every time a thought of him comes into your mind, choose instead to think about your husband. Our feelings follow our thinking, and we can control our thoughts. The way you are thinking is most likely affecting your marriage, too. Husbands can sense when their wives are not thinking about them, and though they may never speak a word about it, there will be problems because of it. You have 11 years invested in this man and 4 children. It is worth every ounce of effort to try to make it work.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:09 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Sounds like you need to find YOU first before pursuing a potential soulmate in hopes that when the right man comes along, you'll know...Sounds like your ex boyfriend wants you around when he's at his low points in life and then when he's back on his feet, he's with other women...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:11 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I don't think he is your soulmate..he isn't even close. My Husband and I are Soulmates, so believe me - I know.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 1:54 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • You would know if he was your soulmate; it sounds like you merely have an infatuation with him. It's not love; it's infatuation. Trust me, I know the signs very clearly.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:27 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • He can only play you as long as you allow it. It sounds like you need some time with just you and not men who don't appreciate you. Take some time to be alone with yourself and see that you don't need a man to make you happy. Once you find your happiness within yourself THEN and only then can your soulmate recognize you and come to you. (that's how I see it)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:33 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

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