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7 Bumps

How do you handle...

someone you know who is very bitter and angry? Especially when they seem particulary hateful towards people like yourself, who lean towards a certain belief system?

Do you continue to socialize with them? Do you try to see past their bitter heart, and hope they will once again feel love from you and others around you? Do you try to be the best example of the "type" of people they have boxed you into(in terms of labeling you something)?

Answer Question
 
sahmamax2

Asked by sahmamax2 at 9:15 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Religious Debate

Level 37 (88,208 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Cut them off. Life is stressful enough without letting people who add drama around you.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 9:28 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • In my experience, most people that are outwardly hateful towards a generalization aren't going to learn by example. They'll read ulterior motives into anything you do rather than admit what they're doing. (you're a tool of Satan, you are deceived, etc etc). I don't try to be anything for them, but I continue to be true to my beliefs and refuse to let them frame every situation on their own terms. I've also found many of them aren't very patient (or kind), so they tend to get fed up and stop when they can't dominate someone (or in the case of one former coworker, whines to management so often she becomes the girl who cried wolf).
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 9:34 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • If they are outwardly bitter toward my beliefs, I stay away. Nothing I do is going to change their minds, and life is too short to deal with the stress. I don't want people in my life who aren't at least tolerant.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:46 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I'd just do the best I can to stay positive, to be a good friend, while also sticking true to the beliefs I hold. :)
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 9:54 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I stay away, not necessarily avoiding at all costs to the point its causing me work, but I wouldn't go out of my way to include them in my life. Some may say I'm apathetic, rather than full of grace towards others, but I say I choose who and what is in my life.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:14 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Depends on the relationship, but if they're not family or someone I've been really close with, I would probably cut them out of my life or at least only deal with them when I have to. If it's someone I have to deal with, I would try to avoid topics that lead to hostility, by politely asking them to not to talk about certain things or say that I'm not comfortable with certain topics (for example at work I usually avoided talking politics and religion or was very vague in my response if someone brought topics up). If they won't respect the fact that I don't want to discuss certain things with them, then I would definitely want them out of my life. I would try to be compassionate and forgiving of their actions and words, and I wouldn't bother trying to push my ideas back at them. Someone once said, 'My parents hate me when I'm Buddhist, but they love me when I'm a Buddha."
    pam19

    Answer by pam19 at 10:25 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I don't socialize with people who are bitter and hostile toward me or my beliefs. I can't even imagine how that would be possible. If I happened to be at an event where a bitter and hostile person were also present, I'd probably avoid that person, but if we were pushed together, say if we had a mutual friend who called both of us to come and talk with her, I'd be polite. I'd see no reason to stoop to that person's level of hostility.


    In the debate section, I think the rules are a little different.  I'll be as respectful as I can be, until that person has pushed too many times or has been extremely smug and insulting, to me directly, to those who hold different beliefs in general, or to another person.

    jsbenkert

    Answer by jsbenkert at 10:34 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • In real life, I avoid them and don't interact with them. Luckily in reall life I don't come across them very often.
    Online is a different arena. I'll try and remain respectful to a point, but once the other person crosses a line the gloves come off.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:48 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • It depends I use to work a lot with the elderly as a care giver and still volunteer my time to help them now that I am a SAHM. Truth of the matter is that generation is not accepting of atheists. They can say some very hurtful things. They are who they are though and most of the time they are not going to change their minds. They still need help though. So I rough it out choke down what they say and help them. It would be wrong to cut them out of my life when they need me the most.


    I don't tell them that I am not a christian.  It is a pointless talk that would cause most of them stress.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:56 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I've never come across anyone like that. I think how I handled the situation would depend on who the person was and what my relationship to/with them was.

    Armonia

    Answer by Armonia at 10:57 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

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