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How do you get your son through another surgery? (Venting)

He is 23 had 18 brain surgeries, 4 for Ulcerative Colitis and now he has to go in again for another one on Monday!! How would you get him through this without him giving up all hope on ever getting better? How would your husband/S/O cope?

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Asked by Darla47 at 11:33 AM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Health

Level 18 (5,806 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • hugsYou do what you have to do. It's just what we moms do. I was a single mom so the father of my children would never have gone to the hospital or visited afterward. You can do this.


    Answer by admckenzie at 11:34 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Stay present in the moment of time you're currently living in (if the surgery is not currently happening, right now can't be horrible), be grateful for what wonders of modern science can do at all --and for your son's existence in the world, however long or short it may be, and help others around you stay focused on now, not later (and not then, either) to see that what is happening right now is all that is happening right now.

    It's hard to be happy, in life. It's worth it, but lots of people will quite gleefully help you be miserable. There is fun, drama and high intensity involved in misery, which is why people like it so much. It feels important, urgent, impossible to ignore, but it's none of those things, it's just misery and it's largely voluntary.

    Choose love. Choose joy.

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:38 AM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • My son is 8 and he has had 10 surgeries He was born with cleft lip and palette. He still has more surgeries in his future. I am just grateful that everything is so advanced now. Because with this last one he just got they would have to do a bone graft and take a piece of bone from his hip. Just 2 years ago they  they found a better way to do it. His dad has never been to a surgery but I have my family and my dad always goes with us for support. Just live in the fact that he has come this far. Don't let that take over the fact that he is blessed and you have him with you. Just let him know you will be there when he comes back in the room and tell him you love him. Enjoy him today and don't live in the days you can't see yet. Be blessed!!!!!!!!!!! " Life is more than waiting for the storm to pass. Life is learning how to dance in the rain."


    Answer by LADYA1983 at 12:42 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • hugs mama... it's hard to have a child with any issues, let alone something serious... i know how you feel... my 3 year old has endured 4 hip surgeries and just has more to deal with in the future, along with then correcting her 3 congenital heart defects... it's hard to not get down on things... we were told she would NEVER walk... and guess what, she does... things aren't perfect... but the surgeries, 100% sucessful or not are to help him live a happier and better life... it may be small steps, but it is WELL worth the effort... be supportive, and find a supportgroup for parents/families that you can attend...

    Answer by asil at 8:29 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

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