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betrayed by religion in marriage

ok so you neither were religious when you married. Then one day your spouse decides they want to practice a certain religion they feel lead to join. Also it might involve some not so mainstream religious practices such as poligomy in the future. Also they want you on board and they want the childern on board. They want you to dress differently,study this religion constaintly. You both went from agnostic to extremist. What would you do?You still love them but you do not want this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (13)
  • if that person loves you they will respect what you want and not force you to do something that you are not willing to do, they married you that way and shouldnt expect you to change
    mommadent

    Answer by mommadent at 8:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • why are you repeating the question? did you not get the answer you wanted before?

    anything taken to an extreme is bad. Let them dress different. You don't have to change yourself though! and if you are against polygamy, then it would be adultery and grounds for divorce.

    we all have free will. If it's his will to go with this religion, that's his choice. It is your choice and right not to follow it if you do not want to.

    make your feelings very clear about this is NOT what you want.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Ditto with the pp
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 8:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Hella no, I wouldn't be cool with that.

    When you are married any decision/change you make that is going to change your lives like that should be made TOGETHER. If you both don't agree, you either need to find a way to compromise, or one of you are going to have to suck it up (in which case it should be the person that came up with the brilliant idea to "change" from your origninal understanding, IMO), or your relationship is probably doomed for failure...

    Love or not, sometimes you just can't live WITH someone, you know?
    thalassa

    Answer by thalassa at 8:03 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • sorry about the repeat i geuss i thought it should be more detailed then the other :(
    sorry.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I think there is a bit of a difference in how you asked the two questions...this isn't just a "he's XXX religion, I'm YYY religion"....this sounds like its ALOT more complicated...
    thalassa

    Answer by thalassa at 8:11 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I told my husband before we married that if he didn't believe the same things I did concerning God then I would not marry him. I want my children raised in the way I was and that was in a church every Sunday. If he didn't agree or wanted to practice a different religion, then I wouldn't have married him. It's too hard to be in a relationship where you have completely different views. If your husband decides to start practicing polygamy, if it were me, that's adultery, adios buddy. I will not be sharing my man.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 8:15 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Now wait lemme get this straight. You were both agnostic and now he is wanting to convert to something extreme. If that were me I would have to tell him no way and don't let the door hit him in the ass on his way out.
    Compared to feesharose I wouldn't have married my hubby if he did not have the same views as my own. We are Pagans and I couldn't have married him if he had different views from mine. And it sounds like thalassa has a great point this situation of yours is ALOT more complicated than just religion.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 8:27 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • well it sounds like there is more... but i think things like this happen way more then people think. i do not feel you are alone.
    i think if you both agreed one way before marriage and then he changed the rules. therefore he is going to have to compromise b/c he did the changing.
    obviuosyly you guys love each other, and can come to some kind of agreement. as far as certain practices, i think that borders on abuse and that is different.
    I feel for you, I could not imagen if my husband woke up one day and said "I do not want to be Catholic anymore I think it is a lie" I would DIE, I would be crushed. Then he did not want the kids to practice either! O man. I think people need to put themselves in your place before we judge.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • i would tell him to get out of my house and stay away from my children...sounds very toxic and controlling to me..wouldn't be tolerated here.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 11:09 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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