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7 year old who talks back

I told her to go to bed now, she stayed up but i just about lost it when she told me it was my fault she was so tired. I say something she rolls her eyes, pretends not to hear, I say no she asks daddy, she talks back, she is only 7 and this mouthy any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Dec. 23, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (12)
  • Try a little reverse psychology... When she sasses you or disobeys you, be very, very calm. Tell her how she makes you feel when she does this, i.e. "When you talk back to me, it hurts my feelings and it makes me feel like you don't love or respect me." Make her feel GUILTY. If she does it again, walk away from her and tell her that you don't want to talk to her until she is ready to talk nicely. Ignoring her will drive her nuts. If this does not work, give her options... either you talk to me nicely, or you spend the rest of the day in your room - it is YOUR decision. By making it her decision, you are taking blame completely off yourself.

    Most important, though, you and your dh need to present a united front. Make sure he checks with you when she asks for something. Make sure that he does not allow her to sass you. All kids try to test their limits with their parents, but how you react will determine her future.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 12:23 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Sounds like a 7yo to me.

    First, you need to disengage. What she says and what she thinks is 100% within her control, not yours. If you think you can control a child with a developing brain, you've lost touch with reality. You might, by dint of serious effort and attention to detail, be able to form a secure, strong relationship with her that results in her caring what you think and thereby be able to influence her thinking or actions... but she's proving to you (with very clear communication) that you are not the boss of her.

    You need to be bigger than what comes out of a 7yo's mouth --be the bigger person who recognizes that 7yos are immature, have little impulse control, and limited communication skills --and virtually all of that is copycat behaviour: you're seeing what she's witnessed.

    Do you roll your eyes? Do you appeal to a higher authority? Do you ignore what some people say? Do you talk back?

    It's the same to her.

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:20 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • my son is six and once in awhile he gets the same way. and when that happens i take away his t.v , toys and make him go to bed an hour earlier. i don't know if it will work for your lil girl but my son can't stand not having his t.v time and his toys but it does't hurt to try. good luck

    Answer by prettymamiof2 at 12:24 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • OP - I agree with neebug. Life is all about choices and if she chooses to be rude, then she will have to deal with the aftermath. Mommy not speaking to her until she changes the way she speaks.

    Also, how is neebug telling you to be her friend and not her mother. Would you rather she told you to smack her for her behavior. she gave you very good advice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • AHHH! she MUST be hanging out with my 8 yr old son~ recently he is spending a lot of time in his room for this

    Answer by rebeccadac at 2:30 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I have to tell you that they all talk back. And sometimes they like to get the last word in as well. My mother used to tell me she would wash my mouth out with soap. One time she actually tried to but I never used that approach on my kids.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 7:03 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • wow, sounds like my 6yr old!!

    Answer by alexis_06 at 3:01 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • i am her mother not her friend I will not raise her to be disrespectful. ty neebug

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:28 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • i was telling the 1st part to clement and agreeing with neebug and i do spank my kids if need be.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:20 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • lol rebecca is it just the age does it get better soon or around the time they leave for college?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:36 PM on Dec. 23, 2010