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im almost six months pregnant, me and my boyfriend have been fighting since sunday night.. it started off with a trust argument, than about engagement.. now its gotten so bad to where he is telling me he's "tired of my sh_t." im so scared he is gonna leave me. how do i fix this? adult content

he's been faithful for four years now..
we broke up for a while and i had a new boyfriend.
he constantly tells me stuff about it, "forgiven but not forgotten"
ive never cheated. but he thinks i will leave him when he goes to basic training and tech school for the air force....

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jolineefaith

Asked by jolineefaith at 1:39 PM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Do something for him that is genuinely loving.

    You cannot keep up negativity unrelentingly and expect anyone to hang around ... accept that you're both stressed out and see the argumentativeness as an immature coping skill. Don't say that out loud (when he's doing it, particularly, unless you like black eyes a lot, because being condescending is always a bad idea!) but notice that he's hungry, tired, thirsty, feeling overwhelmed or otherwise just out of sorts and trying to get his needs met (no one's suggesting he's using a functional tool, just that's what he's trying to do.)

    Step back, sit down, offer food...

    Reassure him that there is nothing he can do about what you will do while he's away that will stop you from wanting to be around someone more cheerful, loving, respectful or kind... except to be more loving, respectful, cheerful and kind so you'll just miss him, instead of looking for a better model.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:44 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • thanks:)


    i'll try that..

    jolineefaith

    Comment by jolineefaith (original poster) at 1:53 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I used to be in the same position, but there has to be trust on both sides or that is all you will fight about and your relationship will crumble. My husband is in the army and often deployed. If we always thought the other was going to cheat while he was gone, we would both be a complete basket case all the time. I really do agree with LindaClement. She has great advice there for you. Good luck with everything and just try to stay calm and as far as him constantly bringing up the boyfriend you had while you guys were not together. He has to get over that, you either forgive and forget or you walk away from the relationship. Good luck to you and I hope things get better.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 1:53 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • ok im going through something more or less like u only thing is im not pregant i have five kids all from the same father but he has cheated on me.nd trust is the foundation to a relationship just like i tell him.if no trust then nothing nd if u can forgive a person but not forget then whats the sense of being in a relationship with that person.just my thoughts but maybe its just the baby.good luck
    memybabies09

    Answer by memybabies09 at 2:12 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • its so hard for us to have a good day because of it... were supposed to be happy and excited for our new baby, but all we do is argue. and i cry so much....
    jolineefaith

    Comment by jolineefaith (original poster) at 2:28 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • It shouldn't be that way. You guys really need to sit down and talk things out. Maybe you could go to counseling. I'm so sorry your hurting so bad. I will be praying for you and I hope all gets better soon.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 2:48 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Agree with Linda..when he makes a comment like that try to diffuse the situation instead of indulging and inflaming the situation.If he wants to sit down and talk calmly of his feelings then so be it ..do that.Otherwise,diffuse..diffuse and try to be positive.Try it out for a while..
    tnmomofive

    Answer by tnmomofive at 3:37 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Take him seriously, and diffuse the situation as best you can. Forget whatver you fought about for a bit and just focus on eachother. Talk through your problems and try not to let them elevate to a slanging match again...and reassure him you love him, but listen to his suggestions about why he is unhappy...and share yours too.

    Relationships only last and work if there is communication constantly flowing between the two of you.
    little.knickers

    Answer by little.knickers at 5:30 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Have you asked him what it would take for him to trust you?
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 7:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • _Tam_ i have many times.. all he says is, "prove to me,i dont know how, but show me."
    jolineefaith

    Comment by jolineefaith (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

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