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How can I learn to be more patient with my 4 year old?

My son will be 4 in a couple of weeks. He pushes my buttons and thinks he knows everything. How can I keep my cool and try to get him to do what I want him to do? He constantly says no to me and it drives me nuts. When we're at home it's easier to deal with but in public it's a lot harder I have to end up picking him up and taking him to the car because he won't listen to me and do what I say. It's embarrassing and irritating. Any suggestions?

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Asked by aidansmom111804 at 8:39 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I struggle with my 4 year old, too, but only when his sister is around. He gets really naughty and I just lose it. I yell at him and put him in time-outs. I have tried taking a deep breath and distracting both of us, and it seems to help. On beforehand, have an escape ready. Say you are playing inside and he gets upset about something, go get a toy or ask him to help you do something. Distraction really seems to work for both the kids and us. I sometimes just hug him and kiss him, then tell him how much I love him and that it makes me sad when he behaves badly. That seems to distract him, too. Also, tell yourself that he is only 4. We cannot expect a 4 year old to act like an adult. I think you are probably just tired and overwhelmed like most of us. Get a good night's sleep, then hug him in the morning.

    Answer by MomAgainAgain at 8:45 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Spank him, and yes it's legal. If there is nothing else to do then do it. Tell him your gonna stand him in the corner. Take toys, t.v time, anything he loves away. I sometimes smack my son's hand in the store or where ever we are and tell him it's not playtime and that he;s not allowed to act stupid in the store. I usually have him in the cart when were at the store, but lately I only have my 1yr old daughter in the cart. He just turned 6 and his dad's the one who he doesn;t always listen to cause he tries to buy him everything and let him do this and that. But lately I've told him enough is enough, he's gonna keep pushing u over.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I would not be embarrassed. Other moms will totally understand (unless they are a bitch). I have the same problem of not listening with my kids. They all listen to their dad but usually ignore me unless I am in their face or something. I swear it is just a mom thing. I even did it to my mom. Take heart and just keep at it.

    Answer by vbongard at 8:59 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • I have hard time also with my 5 yr old and 3yr old. I try not to go anywhere alone with them , this is not an option for everyone I know. They all do listen to dad like vbongard said, I even have to call my husband at work to get a handle on the kids, pretty sad i know.

    Answer by lesliebabl at 11:38 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I have a 4 year old that is pretty easy to get along with at home. She gets bored easily at home but other than that she is ok to deal with. However, to go to the store or the post office is a struggle. I work full time so I wonder if maybe she is needing attention, but other times I think I have spoiled her. When I am calm about it though I don't think it is me at all, but her trying to push limits and test boundaries and that is part of developing a personality. I do spank her when she is really bad or pushy. I also take a way tv time and stand her in the corner. Sometimes after a little rest and relaxing for me I do feel bad, but a time out for everyone helps.

    Answer by amandadd202 at 8:00 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

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