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Is this a threat??

Things with my husband have not been going well for a while now. We don't sleep in the same room anymore. We seem to be friends more than partners in life. When we fight, I always question why we are together and if it is worth it. He will then reply with...well if you leave, I will fight to keep my kids. A part of me sees this as a threat and his way of keeping me. Would you see this as a threat? He knows this is my biggest fear.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I would probbaly see it as a threat,If you leave me I'm keeping the kids, sounds like a threat to me. If your unhappy though, then you should do whats best for you, Where I live anyway, the mother usualy gets to keep the kids in a seperation.

    Answer by akiranth at 4:08 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • More like a promise! U leave the kids will stay with him no matter if he has to take u to court.

    Answer by dancer at 4:09 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • i dont see it as a threat,,i see it as thats the only reason u guys are still together..mabe he thinks if u do leave u wont let him see the kids..

    Answer by angelairelan at 4:22 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • May I ask..

    Why are you still together? Is it mainly due to the children? If so, then that could be the reason behind him saying that.. Then again, it may not be. Only he knows for sure. When you ask him what he means what does he say?

    Since you guys (based on what you shared) have been having problems for awhile, and those problems seem extensive (since you even sleep in separate rooms now).. What have the two of you been doing in order to address and rectify the problems that you have been having in your marriage?


    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:25 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • There is no reason to remain unhappy and it is also hard on the kids. They sense when something is wrong. If he wants to try to take the kids then he will have to fight and have good concrete reasons why you would considered unfit (which I'm so you are a wonderful mother) he has no ground to stand on. Make yourself and your children happy and have the life you should.

    Answer by amber1330 at 4:27 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • If he knows it's your biggest fear then he is simply using that to keep you from going anywhere. He would have to proove you're unfit to get them. And what's wrong with joint custody?

    Answer by Memigen at 4:29 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I don't see it as a threat, maybe he doesn't want you keeping his kids from him, maybe it is his fear.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:41 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • dont let him think it affects you. he is trying to make it sound like a threat. dont let him get to u.

    Answer by teastin14 at 4:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • YES I DO!!! I also believe that alot of times if the man has his kids he has gotten them BY abusing the woman unless there is something big big big in her life or background. Real men dont act like that and they would not have to FIGHT to get the kids the kids would say that they wanted to SEE their dad if he was a good dad. If they dont something is wrong. Yes I definitely see that as a tactic of an abuser. Big time abuser

    Answer by NE1outthere at 4:59 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • It sounds like the marriage should have ended awhile ago. Unless you're working and making more than he is, I don't see how you'd be able to keep them. Sounds like he has the income to cover expenses. I know you would want to keep them instead, but how are you going to provide for them? Are you working? I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a Negative Nelly, but this is what's in my head.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 5:08 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

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