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When is enough enough?

My fiance and I are probably the happiest couple I know. When its just us everything seems great. My family loves him and are very accepting, his however is the exact opposite. We've been being somewhat of roommates with his mom and brother who have yet to get their lives together and move out of our home. At first I was very understanding of their situation til they began to take shots at me and our relationship(Im no good for him, Im cheating on him, I control him, I'm only using him, the list goes on and on). It went from them staying with us to feeling like we were staying with them, and a great nuisance. My weekly life became we're happy Monday, she comes home, starts a major argument leaves comes back and pretends like it never happened. New week repeat again. Life has become so stressful I spend more time at my moms than at home. My fiance is the "the past is the past' kind of guy and although that is a good way to live this lifestyle is very unhealthy for me at least especially since Im just now rolling over into my 2nd trimester of my pregnancy. Since them moving in I've had 2 panic attacks and numerous headaches and inability to concentrate on anything. When is enough enough? He's fully aware of the fact their bickering is affecting my health, but he continues to allow this to go on. He says he wants her to leave and has even told her, but she tells him she doesnt have the money (but gets her hair done and goes shopping every weekend). I dont know how much more of this I can take he's not giving her a deadline to get her life together more like lettting her pick and choose, and its been almost 2 years now. What should I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Move back home. If he can not stand up to his mother and to protect his soon to be wife and child then he deserves to pay though the nose on child support. This is just a taste of what married life will be if you stay with him. He's the one who's no good for you. And as far as his mother's concerned, there probably isn't a woman alive that she'd approve of so don't take that personal.

    Get out of there. De-stress. Enjoy your pregnancy and birth. Tell him his time is up. Things change now or you will not be a part of his life any more.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 4:17 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • You're already past enough. WELL PAST. Time to move back with mom and to give HIM a hard deadline. They are to be out by Feb 1 (I know I'm being too kind) or the two of you are DONE.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:22 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I would also leave & move back home or with someone else. If he won't make them leave, you leave. I guarantee you that after you leave, it will only be a matter of time before his parents are gone. Teach him a lesson. Teach him that you WILL NOT put up with this. Don't teach him that you WILL put up with it, because then he'll never make his mom leave.

    He definitely needs an ultimatum, or them...

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:24 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Tell him this is too hard for you and your unborn child and he needs to make up his mind. its one thing to help but another when its going on two years and she still will not get out. Its hard but its your house as well you are going to have to put your foot down as well. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:25 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I agree with the others... If I were you I would move in with your mom and tell your fiance you will not move back in until they are gone. Good luck to you:)

    Answer by shanlaree at 4:43 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Move back home. Tell him that you won't come back until they're gone. That way, he can blame them for the outcome of your relationship. Once they're out for good, you can go back to your home with him and keep your doors closed to his family.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 4:55 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Give him the ultimatum, she's gone or you'll have to go for the sake of your health. He should come to his senses if he's worthy of being your husband and a father.

    Answer by jackdaw at 6:15 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Tell your fiance that if he wants you and the baby to live with him, then his mother needs to be out by the time the baby is born. You do not need her stress when you bring that baby home. Good luck.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 7:06 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Oooh that sucks. If you have a good relationship, I would try to keep it. Tell her you can't take it and need your house back. He can't stand up to her but maybe you can? This is a hard position for all of you. You are an angel for putting up with this for so long. Show your dh this post. Show HIM what all of these other women would do if they were you. I do admire your man for being good to his family but they shouldn't be taking advantage of him like that. I really hope it works out for you all and they move out soon with no hard feelings.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 8:03 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Take charge of YOUR home... Talk to your husband and tell him that you have reached your breaking point. Enough IS enough. They need to leave, OR your husband needs to stand up for you and law down the law...THESE are the rulesw of OUR home, and if you can't follow them you need to leave. Tell them that they have 3 chances, and after she has gone through them, thy have 30 days to leave before you evict them... It sounds mean, but its your house and you are pregnant. They should be making life easier not harder. They need to get with the program or get the hell out.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 9:02 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

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