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explaining parents aren't together to a young child??

My two year old saw three pumpkins sitting together in a bunch, a little one and two big ones, she says: "its mommy, (her name) and daddy!" Her father and i split up over a year ago, i'm now remarried and she lives with my husband and i, with visitation to her dad. Should I try to explain to her daddy and mommy aren't married, that i'm married to (DH) and he is her step-dad? I feel like it may hurt my DH's feelings that she doesn't identify him as a father when he thinks of her as his daughter. It makes me cringe when i hear her associate me with her father, I can't stand him, (though i don't let her know that). How can I explain this situation to her, what can i say, are there any books that could help?

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Asked by YungMum_STL at 8:48 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (2)
  • I found this title on but you can probably check your local bookstore or library for it. Two Homes (Paperback) by Claire Masurel (Author), Kady Macdonald Denton (Illustrator). Let me know if it helps.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 9:10 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • You are more than associated with your child's father, you are forever connected because you both have her. Her stepdad will never be her father. That doesn't mean that is a bad thing. Even children that young know biology. One half of me is mom and the other half is dad - its unconcious. Just suppport her when she does those things. Like with the pumpkins...yes your dad and I love you very much. We are both so lucky to have you as our daughter. Its obvious that the two of you are not living together. Your husband has a place in her heart as well. Check out the local library. There are all kinds of cute age appropriate books for explaining divorce and stepfamilies. And your husband is an adult, he is control of his feelings. She is a little girl who needs to know that she is loved by both her parents. More than likely she was looking for reassurance.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:18 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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