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2 Bumps

What would cause a man to act this way?

My husband and I have had some drag out fights in 21 years but recently, I'ld say in the past 1 1/2 months or so, he gets to the point where he just screams at the top of his lungs "shut up" or "get out" when we're just discussing something, not even arguing. He also acts like he's going to get violent...like making a fist or something and he says shit like "let me give you a piece of advice...stop getting on my nerves or else." He's never been a sweetheart but he's never been violent or abusive and he's never, ever behaved like this. I'm not afraid of him in the least. He knows full well that if he ever decides to get physical with me, he better make sure he kills me because I will incapacitate him without so much as blinking. He's not overstressed at work; he cheated on me last year and since I didn't leave then, he feels like he's scott free and it was no big deal and he pretty much does whatever the hell he feels like doing in life with no care or concern for anyone else. Have any of you experienced this kind of behavior from your husbands?

 
ShouldHaveLeft

Asked by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:04 PM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,621 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • hugs

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:07 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • guilt
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 9:07 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I agree....guilt.
    FOCOMomma

    Answer by FOCOMomma at 9:07 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Not personally but what you descibe is exactly what my Mom is dealing with right now. I too think guilt is a big factor. Sounds to me like he may also be trying to push things so you will leave. If he wants to move on...make HIM leave. (((you )))
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:21 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • well sweetie you deserve alot better then how he is treating you but if he wants to leave make him want to leave you i hope it gets better for you goodluck
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 9:26 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Mid life. He is lacking in his self worth.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:40 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Nobody deserves this. That is abusive and, if anything, he should treat you like a queen to show you why you were right in keeping his sorry ass around. I obviously don't know you, but I can tell you that you deserve better. I have been told a million times (since I like to pick winners for bfs myself-including a guy that wouldn't tell anyone I was pregnant and told me not to tell anyone FOR FOUR MONTHS because he was scared that his mommy and daddy would be mad at him) that people say things in anger that are venting their subconscious....which means that there is at least a little truth to what he says. I wouldn't stick around to see if he will hit you...or to see if he will cheat again. I wish you the best.
    TitusMom7

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 10:23 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I feel it could be any of those things that have been said previously on the other hand I wouldnt just up and leave...yet...see if you can get him to talk rationally in any way or just casually see if you can find out what is up with him first.
    Triscuit

    Answer by Triscuit at 10:39 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • After that situation, a man that REALLY wants to make the relationship work doesn't act like that. He treats you like royalty. My ex husband would act the same way with me before our divorce because he didn't really want to be there and any minor blip in his day was too much of a burden for him to deal with.
    Daeraelle

    Answer by Daeraelle at 11:56 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • Do you really think he is capable of hurting you physically? Maybe he is trying to see how far he can go, and see what your reaction is going to be. But if someone yelled at me like that, I would have to tell them to get out. You shouldn't have to put up with this.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:51 AM on Dec. 24, 2010