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Comments from in-laws about my parenting...

are officially beginning to make me crazy. I'm passive and just keep my mouth shut but it's starting to really really bother me and I do not know how to approach it w/o starting a war. Ever since my child was born I've heard comments like "I think you nurse the baby too much, he needs to self soothe" and "he needs to cry it out" and now today I heard "you clearly don't spank your child enough."
I just don't know what to do.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Dec. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would say I'm the parent and I do what I think is right for my child!!

    I was the same and things got worse, now I have cut them off and it has made things more uncomfortable. You must put your foot down do not wait for your hubby to say something.
    Tell then you are the parent and you know what is best for your family.

    The sooner you show who is in charge the better you will be.


    Answer by gammie at 11:43 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • You politely say something like "Well, that might have been a way you felt comfortable with, but I do not." We will parent the way we see fit.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:25 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • When it comes to in-law issues, I usually make my SO take care of it. I know that he can say pretty much whatever her wants and they will still love/accept him because he is blood. I don't want to create any problems with his family, so I have him talk to them. I tell him my side of things, how it makes me feel and we discuss it before he talks to them to ensure that the message actually gets transferred properly and won't make any more of an issue.

    If it is my parents, I have no issues taking care of it, but I don't want to cause issues with his side if it isn't necessary...the only time I have every done it myself was when my SO's sister thought it would be funny to teach my 2 year old son the word "prostitute." I don't care if they get mad at that point, it is my job to keep that kind of filth from my son.

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 11:58 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I'm the passive type too. But sometimes, enough is enough. You will reach a point you can't take it no more. But when someone tells you that you aren't spanking your child enough? That's it. I would have to say something. I would have to tell them to leave it to me to decide when a spanking should be appropriately used. But some of us, like me, don't believe in spanking. If you feel this way, tell her that you don't believe in it, and go on. You're the parent, you decide.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:32 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • i once said this to mil have you ever though having another
    at time she was in her late 40's
    she said no 4 was enough oh well i guess i 'll be raising this child my way
    she gave me a look that could kill and my fil just sat and laugh
    about time some told you back off and you need tell her the same that's why your the mom not her

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 11:31 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I'm passive too, but sometimes you can only put up with other people's s^^t for so long and you snap and go crazy. I do it. Then I get bitchy and give it to 'em. Something like "Oh since I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, why don't you take the baby and raise him with the great parenting skills that you used with _________ . (insert hubby's name). Since he turned out so great, and you obviously know what you're doing."

    Answer by badgirl44654 at 11:31 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • She will be speechless, I guarantee it!

    Answer by badgirl44654 at 11:32 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • I'd tell them that you appreciate their suggestions but you'd like to parent your own child. They are idiots they want you to spank your child and he does NOT need to cry it out and you are probably not nursing him too much. Send their ignorant butts home

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:34 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • i would say "oh, would you like to nurse him" lol! and if i spanked him one more time you would probably think that is too much. they are your kids whether they like it or not

    Answer by angevil53 at 11:38 PM on Dec. 23, 2010

  • You do what feels right for you, you are that childs mother not them.Let them know that you are perfectly capable of taking care of your child. Besides who knows best(MOM)

    Answer by moduinne at 8:27 AM on Dec. 24, 2010