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2 Bumps

How can I back off?

I think I am overly pushy, I mean I make a new friend and I don't leave them alone, even though I know that I am probably annoying them. It wasn't always like this but I just started work again after 3 years and now I feel like I am way to obsessive about friends, I don't want to run them off. How can I help myself to back off? I don't want to be a pushy "crazy" person :(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Dec. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Limit yourself to calling them once every day or two, allow your friends to have their own space. Don't get upset if they can't do something with you, and don't invite yourself to things they have planned. Relax!! :)

    (I have a "friend" that is really pushy, I've stopped hanging out with her because she wears me out. This is what I would tell her if I could.)

    Answer by Scuba at 9:14 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Take a deep breath and let it out. The next time you think your going over the top stop and think is this too much? Refrain from calling more than once an hour, or day depending on how much you feel you need to let them know some extremely pertanate information.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:15 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Before you do something impulsive, stop and think, "How are they going to take this". If you have made one forward gesture, wait for them to make one before you approach them. Also, remember that you are at work and you want to give the impression that you are serious about the work. You don't want to interrupt people when they are in the middle of something, or you'll be seen as frivilous. I can understand your anxiety, seeing that you've been home for awyile, just take it easy. Time will help.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 9:16 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • I agree with the others. Relax. Take a deep breath. Consider if it is really important to talk right now or if it can wait. You can do it but you have to "train" yourself. You are worth it. Good luck!

    Answer by elizabr at 9:23 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • Ditto what they said. Just find another outlet when you feel like calling them for the 4th time that day. Good luck

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 10:56 AM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • I had an awful pushy friend once. At first I adored her. She was lively, energetic, loved to do little nice things for me etc. But then she got to be almost stalkerish. I would get home from work and there would be notes on the door, where are you, where have you been. She began showing up at my workplace like a jealous lover and inviting herself everywhere I went. I started hiding when I would see her coming. It was awful. I finally had to write her a note explaining that I needed space.

    I think taking a look at your own behavior is a good thing. You are realizing that what you are doing may be too much. Just pull back some and let your new friends take more of a lead. Be sensitive to body language and spoken language. For instance, I would tell my needy friend "no" and she would have every excuse in the book to say that wasn't what I wanted.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 1:17 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • I'm glad that uposted this.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 5:00 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

  • I am like this too. Hearing all these stories of how people "used to" be friends with people like that makes me want to change. I don't want to go overboard and start losing friends or deifinetely not my boyfriend. This post really helped me.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 5:05 PM on Dec. 25, 2010

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