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How much would you give?

I have a sd who is turning 19 yrs. old this month well when she was little she used to come and hangout with us but at age 12 her mom started to do things with (before she was just dropping her off for the weekends) anyway at 13 for her b/day she took her to get her belly button pierce(huh.) and as time went by she got older and started to do her own thing and now she doesn't come over as much bc mom gave her too much freedom. she does come around but it is not the same I fel she comes over bc she has to and when she is here she'll stay for about 2 days and tells us her mom is picking her up on the third day my dh and I are like oh ok fine but we don't know why she has changed so much so my question is how much should we give her (her birthday &christmas) my dh has and always took care of his kids. Including child support. He is a good person but his dd is not the same :( Thanks Ladies!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Dec. 24, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • It doesn't matter if she has changed she is his daughter. My sd is19 and I have met her less than 10 times. She lives across country and her mother turned her against my husband for many years (she called him out of the blue a year and a half ago). We gave her an amplifier worth $250 last year at Christmas since it was the sole gift she was getting from us. This year we just gaver her $200 on a prepaid visa card. She is in college now and needs gas money and stuff so it was more practical.

    Answer by TaraK. at 6:21 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • It doesn't matter if she's the same or not. Whatever she's doing or going through, she's still his daughter, and her birthday and Christmas should be the same as what he does for his other children. Birthdays and holidays shouldn't be part of discipline.

    Answer by ohwrite at 6:00 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • I didn't get birthday presents anymore after 18 so I couldn't tell you on that one. As for Christmas, it doesn't seem like you know her very well anymore so I would go with something safe like a gift card or something. I would not go all out, it's not like she spends a lot of time with you guys.

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:00 PM on Dec. 24, 2010

  • My grandson is 19. They just turn in to teens and change. It's not just her. I don't know your financial status to say an amount but for me, I spent $50 on my grandson. It he were my child I might spend more. I did offer to buy him a new pair of shoes, too! Your dh pays child support for her now and she is 19? Is she in college?

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:01 PM on Dec. 24, 2010