Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My four year old is in kindergarten and has been having accidents in school what should i do?

OK my 4 year old Crystal is in kindergarten she loves being in school and I like the fact that she is there but there are times when she comes home wet from school and it concerns me because not only does she come home wet she also is very histerical and when i ask her questions about it she just starts to cry and it scares me and it makes me start to cry because i start to worry if something is actually happening to my daughter in school to cause her to have these accidents.
I spoke to the teacher about it and she said she was gonna try to keep on top of her and it did work for a little while but when my daughter had dance class the accident happen again.
I am just so worried i don't know if I should pull her out of school until she is ready to go back or just leave her and hope that things change. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by lovemykids770 at 11:22 PM on Nov. 9, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Have you gone to see her doctor? Pulling her out of school is a little drastic. Kids need time to socialize. And pulling her out sends her the signal that she has a problem that is not normal. If she were my daughter I would first have my child's doctor assess her. Then I would request a referal to a peidiatric urologist. It is just to rule out that something medical isn't happening. In the mean time the teacher can do more than stay on top of it. She can set up a tioleting schedule for your daughter. Every 40 minutes she can have your daughter sit on the potty. Or if you think she can do it every hour. Send her with extra clothes so she doesn't have to come home wet from the classroom. Her teacher should know better than that. Don't make a big deal out of the accidents

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:32 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • cont..
    in front of her. And neither should her teacher. If she feels that her teacher is upset with her that may contribute to some of the crying when you ask her. And the teacher should make sure no one is teasing her about it. That is her job and she needs to be professional about it. In the mean time normalize the accidents - it happens to a lot of kids. And it does. Keep a journal of time and dates of accidents. Also a food journal of food she eats and liquids she drinks. Something could be irritating her bladder. I can't drink citris or I wet my pants and I'm in my 30's. The more information you have for her doctor the more helpful it will be to narrow down the causes.

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:36 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Personally I think that 4 is a little too young for Kindergarten. I would've waited until she was 5, but anyway, that's just my opinion. I think maybe she should talk to a counselor, or doctor, but I definitely wouldn't pull her out now. That could really mess things up. But good luck!

    Answer by Gretchen0122 at 12:23 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I taught preschool for over 6 years, and studied Early Childhood Education in College. What your experiencing isn't uncommon in a child that age. Usually if a potty trained child starts having accidents it's for a reason. The trick is finding out that reason.

    What I would suggest is to take her on to the Dr. A simple urinary tract infection can cause people to have accidents. It could also be the case that her bladder is small, it happens. It's always best to rule out medical while you're trying to figure out the school situation.

    Part 1 not enough space for it all

    Answer by LisaAC at 7:34 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Part 2

    A child can get so into playing that they will literally forget, or put off, going to potty. Chances are this is what is happening since your daughter enjoys school so much. Just have the teacher make sure your daughter at least tries to go about every 2-3 hours.

    The other reason for accidents is change in their usual routine, or something bothering them, like a child picking on them. That can cause it as well. When you talk to the teacher ask her to make sure it's not another child being pushy or bullying with your daughter.

    If you need to talk, feel free to message me.

    Answer by LisaAC at 7:34 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • P1

    I personally experienced this when I was small. My teacher assumed I was playing around in the bathroom since I went so often, and stopped allowing me to go. I came home with wet pants every day. Naturally, my mother was furious.

    As it turns out, my bladder is under developed, even now, at 24 years old. My kidneys don't function properly, either. Of course, my teacher didn't know that, and there wasn't any way I could tell her because I didn't have the words for it all. And everything at that age is an excuse anyway!

    Answer by Estellina at 8:43 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • P2

    Best bet? Like PP said, take your child to her doctor. Check and see if there is anything wrong down there, because your child wouldn't be able to explain it to you (due to lack of words like bladder, burning, etc). If there's nothing wrong medically, she could be forgetting or putting off going, or there could be an unaddressed problem, like someone teasing her or feeling overwhelmed. I felt worlds better once my mom sat down with the teacher and arranged a potty schedule so I could stop having to try to hold it so much!

    Answer by Estellina at 8:43 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.